Musings 13: Nyarlathotep

“Nyarlathotep . . . the crawling chaos . . . I am the last . . . I will tell the audient void. . . .
I do not recall distinctly when it began, but it was months ago. The general tension was horrible. To a season of political and social upheaval was added a strange and brooding apprehension of hideous physical danger; a danger widespread and all-embracing, such a danger as may be imagined only in the most terrible phantasms of the night. I recall that the people went about with pale and worried faces, and whispered warnings and prophecies which no one dared consciously repeat or acknowledge to himself that he had heard.”

H.P.Lovecraft, Nyarlathotep 1920.

As shown in Peggy’s studies, Nyarlathotep has been busy on Earth for a very long time. It has many names and forms, but the one it is best known for on Earth are Nyarlathotep, The Crawling Chaos, The Black Pharaoh or the Black Man. On at least one instance Nyarlathotep has assumed the role of The Devil, complete with cloven hooves.

From my chat with the jeweller, Nyarlathotep often assume the form of a human man, tall, thin and joyless. They are the servant of the Outer gods, but I couldn’t find out who these Outer gods were. I wonder if they are not the nameless thing that Algernon can not speak of?? Or possibly the ellusive Nakarand? (though the similarity in name between Nyarlathotep and Nakarand is not lost on me). They make real the will of these Outer gods and is the Outer gods’ messenger.

It seems Nyarlathotep’s agenda is not just destruction of the human race, but he delights in insanity and chaos. I feel I know this fellow from old. It seems they are also very clever, deceptive and manipulative, something they have more in common with us than their Outer god brethern.

One of their practices is to gather followers to do their bidding. We’ve certainly seen that with the Lang. Are the Spiral Dust and Bywindine other ways Nyarlathotep has brought people to them?? They have also been known to use the words and practices of science to draw people to them. Whatever works, right?

He seems to have the power to make people fall asleep and into nightmares. There, I guess, it has absolute control to do with people as they will.

They’re not the only one.

23. Old friends, new enemies

The party find themselves in Celephais under the roof of the Implausible Geographic Society.  With two ways ahead, follow the Lang or heading to London 1890.  Now they discuss what to do next with the old and new friends of Noel Hagan and Maximillian Von Candlestick III.

*************************************************************

“What I don’t understand is why you spend so much time and effort chasing down this herb?” Algernon was still talking to Maximillian when the others, their interrogations now complete, joined them in a makeshift study and workspace.  Maximilian had been a font of information for the young man who was willing to sit and listen to the bombastic but insightful lectures of the older man.

“You see, though for many, the herbal concoction are completely harmless, there is a small number of the population that, when taking the herb in sufficient quantities, will…well let’s say it’s not so harmless.”

“So, they disappear.  But, I understand that adults get the right to choose on Earth.”

“Ah, well that is true, and if it were just the small numbers affected then we may let it go as a bit of harmless fun. Unfortunately, the Lang, for reasons of their own, are encouraging the addition of other drugs into the mix.  We know for a fact that they are paying James Moriarty and his group to do just that.  We don’t know why or for what purpose, and that’s what we’re here to find out.”  Maximilian gesticulated, pointing out into thin air to accentuate his point.

This is seemed logical reasoning for tracking down the suppliers of the drugs to Algernon who nodded  quietly before asking another question, “Why do they use the drug?”

“Escapism mostly, “ Bruce entered into the conversation followed by Rain. “Some find the realities of life hard to bear.  They find comfort in these alternative lives.  Forget their troubles for a while.”

“Like alcohol.”

“Yes, alcohol can be…”

“Like television.”

“I guess…”

“Like roleplaying.”

“I wouldn’t know….”

Rain changed the subject.

“So there’s a native herb of the Dreamlands, is that Bywandine?”

“No, not strictly.” Maximilian continued, “Bywandine is a concoction of the variegated leaf of the Dreamlands and opium.  Then, for reasons of their own, another additive is being incorporated by the Lang.”

“Is it addictive?”  Algernon asked, now grasping the essence of the problem. 

“Opium is, “ Bruce replied, “In itself and for the effect it has.  And the problem with addiction is you cease to have a choice.  These suppliers become…puppeteers, controlling their…customers.  They are no longer free, but enslaved  by the drug.”

“Okay, so why don’t we tell the authorities on Earth.  Let them deal with it?”

“When it comes to the opium, we do.”  Maximilian said, “They are usually better equipt to chasing down the drugs on Earth.  When it comes to the more exotic ingredients, especially this new development, we find it more convenient to investigate ourselves.”

“I see, I think  I understand.”  Algernon finally said.

This led to a lull in the conversation as Peggy walked up, flushed with victory over her captive, “So, where are the stork and the Lorax?” She asked before spotting Maximillian.  Behind her, Noel sauntered and looked around the group, a well-natured smile on his face.  She took one look at him and turned away, her expression a confusion of anger and loss.  Noel’s smile dropped and he took a place beside Maximilian, across the room from Peggy.

“You know Algernon, “Peggy turned her attention to Algernon so suddenly, Algernon nearly jumped and ran, “I’ve just realised I have no idea why you’re here.  You didn’t understand the implication of the drugs on Earth, nor would you care.  What is your motivation, Algernon?”

Algernon just stared back through his shaggy black hair,  his eyes large and unknowing.

“What do you care about?”  She asked again, not to be put off.  

“Survival.” 

“There’s got to be more to life than survival.” Rain interjected before being hushed by Peggy.

“Is there anything you’d give up your survival for?”

“Not willingly,” Algenon admitted uncomfortably.

“Okay.”  Peggy was now warming up to the subject. Algernon had remained inscrutable as the day the group first met.  Usually, he found an excuse to leave or just ran away.  With neither option open to him, he had to face the questioning.

“What if it wasn’t your life at risk, but the quality of your life?  If Rain or Bruce were in danger, it would be a loss to you, wouldn’t it?”

Rain watched from the sidelines of the conversation, fascinated and uncomfortable forAlgernon at the same time.  At the mention of either Rain or Bruce being in danger, Bruce’s eyebrows raised in interest as he turned to also pay attention to Algernon’s response.  Algenon remained silent, seemingly unable to make sense of her question.

“Maybe something more general, “Bruce suggested, “How about the Trolley problem.  There’s a trolley out of control on a set of tracks leading to a switch.  If the trolley were to continue it would hit five people working, but on another connected line, there is only one person working.  Do you  let the tram roll through the five or do you use the switch and move the tram to the second track killing the one?”

“Ha, that’s easy you send it down the second line.  Unless of course, Noel is part of the group of five then let hell rain down on them, I say.” Peggy replied her fury bubbling to the surface.

“You seem bitter,”  Noel said unprepared for Peggy’s wrath.

“I seem bitter?  I lost the last ten years of my life and not a peep from you.  I thought I could trust you, I can’t believe how wrong I was.”

Noel and Maximillian made themselves scarce and watched over the captives.

“Yeah, I’m scary now,”  Peggy said low after the retreating geographer.

“Now,”  Algernon replied quietly so she didn’t hear.

Rain tried to forget Noel’s discomfort and steered the conversation back to the problem, “To the one.  There’s no way I could move five people alone, but one I could…I think…sure, I’d do whatever I could to save the one from the trolley.”

“I of course, “ Bruce added his own opinion, “have worked too long in industrial safety and see too many die and get hurt.  It is always what is safest for the majority that matters.”

The group turned to Algernon who looked completely unsure what to say next.

“Look, let me make it simple,” Peggy said when it was clear Algernon was not going to give an opinion, “Who would you save, me or Rain?”

At this Rain pulled Peggy aside a little and said, “ Are you so sure I’m higher in his estimations?”

“Of course, he seeks you out, you work on projects together.  Not once has he willingly joined me in my lab.”

“As if you’d want him there…”

“What does that matter…”

“Stop it, both of you, “ Bruce said and Peggy and Rain fell silent, “It’s like watching parents fighting.  He’s just a kid, he’s still working out this stuff.”

“Okay, forget it, Algernon, it’s not important.”  Rain sighed himself, “What is important is what we’re doing next, go to London 1890 or find a way to the Moon?”

“I want to go to the market.”  Algernon countered and Rain couldn’t help but smile.

“A good short term goal, I like it.”

All ethical discussion put on hold, the group informed Maximillian and Noel about shopping for cyphers and anything else of use.  Noel instantly offered Maximillian and himself to stay and look after the captives. 

“That’s very chivalrous of you, Noel, thank you.” Rain made a point of the gesture.  Peggy scowled and started walking out of the warehouse.  

“She seems…so bitter.  She’s not how I  remember. She use to be so full of vision and big ideas,” Noel said quietly when Peggy was out of earshot.

“I admit I find it hard imagining the Peggy you knew.  When we found her she was dressed in ugg boots and a homemade hazmat suit, paranoid about creatures from underground coming to get her.  You know, she set up a static blast mine beside her front door?  Wouldn’t let me help her with her invention for fear of what I’d do to it.”

Again, to the soft-hearted academic’s credit, his expression showed the utter grief that Rain’s words had,

“I had no idea.  I was told I couldn’t go back, that the world was better believing I was dead.”

“I don’t blame you.”  Rain comforted him, “but your absence did not help.  Besides, the old Peggy full of ideas is still there.  In that garage, out of scrounged and stolen parts she made a machine that connects to The Strange.  It’s how we came together, being pulled into a recursion by her machine.”

“I see she is a real asset to your group.”

“Truthfully, I think she’s the only reason I’m allowed into the Estate at all.”  Rain grinned sheepishly, “Look, just be your best self.  She can hold a grudge but not against common sense.”
“But she’s so angry…”

“She was this angry with us, not so long ago.” Rain laughed nervously, clearly remembering how close they’d come to losing her in the ruins of Sarkomand. “The magnitude of her anger is only an expression of how much you meant to her.  Give her time and she’ll remember the good as well.”

Back into the dusty bustling market streets of Celephais, the group split up.  Algernon and Rain (on Bruce’s insistence that the ‘…kid needed a chaperone…”) and Bruce and Peggy. As soon as it was convenient though, he split from her as well.

Algernon searched the stalls for things that spoke to him of The Strange.  There were silks and bright coloured fabrics, exotic animals and unusual foods, but nothing that could be a useful cypher for Algernon’s collection.  

“There’s nothing here.” Algernon finally admitted as Rain looked about at the buildings around them.

“Well, you know when I hit a dead-end, I look for a new perspective.”  He said pointing up to the rooftops.

“Alright,”  Algernon replied and followed Rain to one of the many alleys that lead from the markets.  Here Rain started a quick sprint, running up the wall a couple of metres before grabbing a terracotta guttering and throwing himself up another metre.  He was about to grab for another handhold when an invisible force pushed him up and he clattered onto the terracotta tiles, a child dumped by a parent’s strength.  

“You know I’m already insanely jealous of your abilities.”  He chided Algernon from above as Algernon dropped his arms from levitating Rain and pushed them both down to the ground.

“You’ve not seen anything yet,”  Algernon replied as a shimmering ball of force encircled him and he started to rise from the ground.  With a level of control he hadn’t shown before, he levitated up to the roofline and dropped down beside Rain, who applauded.

“Right!  Flight and shield.  You do know that’s like one and two on the superheroes most wanted superpowers list.”  

Together they took in the breathtaking vista that is Celephais. Algernon noted where the gates and harbour connected to main streets. Where the cluster of large civic buildings stood and the shortcuts in between them all.  Rain took in the beauty of the white walls, the bronze rooftops and the blue sea and sky.  

“You know, you’re right about this place.  It never ages or spoils.”  Rain finally said, “Nothing lasts forever.”

Though only early afternoon, the moon was  large in the sky and it attracted the currently philosophical Rain.  It looked no different from the moon back on Earth, though its dominance of the sky, even in the day, was unusual.

“We might be going there soon.”  He said, glancing over at Algernon who seemed to be memorising the city.

“Yeah,”  Algernon replied.

“Just yeah, Not wow, amazing, exciting or scary?”

“It’s just another place.”

“Exactly, new place, new start, new everything.”

“New dangers.”

“Those too.”

While the boys overlooked the city from on high, Bruce was working his way back to the stall where he’d found the journal.  That there was an artifact at all was incredible, that he should find it seemed to be a type of miracle.  Bruce believed in miracles and wasn’t about to waste this one with wondering.  

When he found the stall, the stall owner was packing up for the day and had time to chat to a customer, especially one who had paid so well.

“Where did you get this book from?”

“Let’s see, a few months ago.  A military man came by and sold me a few things, one of them being that journal.”  The merchant turned to his packs and started rummaging.

“Can you remember if he looked like me?”  Bruce asked, interrupting the searching, “Older obviously.”

“No, he was shorter than you and held himself very stiffly and correct, military.”  

The trader pulled out three items, a set of rusty tools, a folded map and a military uniform. The tools were nondescript, but the folded map was of the trackways of Railsea and the uniform was also familiar from Railsea.

“Remember anything else about the guy?”

“Yes, we chatted for a while.  He was selling all this because he’d found himself a new employer.  Oh, which reminds me…” The merchants went back to his packs and pulled out a small worn book, “He was joining a group called The Found Gentlemen and said he wouldn’t need this stuff any more.”  He handed Bruce the small book which was stamped in worn gold leaf, Manikiki Fero Navy Recruiters’ Handbook.

“I’ll take the lot.” Bruce pulled out his collection of gems without quibble and paid what was requested.  Picking up the uniform he noticed a name stitched carefully into the collar of the jacket.

Rundat Tu Vin

It meant nothing, at the moment.  Bruce carefully packed the motley collection of Railsea items and started back.  Now he had secured all he could about the journal, Bruce scanned the stalls for interesting items, something to show for his time in the markets.  At one stall a black featureless cube caught his attention.  It was too plain, but also far too finely made to be local.

“What is this thing?” He asked the stall owner who was quick to spot his interest.

“Pretty isn’t it, such an unusual and rare item.”  The guy obviously had no idea what it was.  

“Not pretty, but Strange,” Bruce replied and paid full price and continued on his way.

Peggy had been doing much the same thing as Algernon, scanning the stalls. With her newfound ability, she was able to pick out items quickly and had found a headband and a hat that both shimmered with The Strange.  She was able to knock down the price on the headband, but the hat was too generally useful for the seller to bargain it down.  She was just stowing her purchases when Bruce truned up with the black cube. Peggy shared her cyphers with Bruce and together they started walking back to the warehouse.

“I’ve been thinking about the onyx that came out of the Lang, “Algernon said as he and Rain sat watching Celephais life roll on beneath them, “I think it would be worth a good amount in the local currency.”

“Do you want to find out what it’s worth?” Rain asked and shuddered, “It certainly bothers me that the local currency is made of people’s souls.”

“Yes,” Algernon responded grimly, perhaps finding something worth investigating. “So, what next?”

A childish smile lighted Rain’s face as he tagged Algernon and leapt away lightly, “Chase me!”  He said and recklessly sprinted across the rooftop for the edge.  Algernon flared his shield into existence and followed in pursuit.

On the relatively flat surface of the roof, Algernon’s longer legs had the advantage.  As soon as Rain jumped a gap between buildings, rolling on impact and landing on his feet, Algernon faltered.  Pushing against the roof with his levitation, Algernon propelled himself across the gap, missed the roof and smashed through the wall into a residential apartment.  

A couple, relaxing from the heat of the day in their loungeroom,  were showered in plaster, dust and bricks and Algernon.  Turning back at the crashing noise, Rain leaned out over the eaves to the disaster created.  Now weakened, the roof under Rain groaned and buckled and he too fell into the room with cascading tiles and roof beams.

“Wha….what are you doing here?” The owner said, gaining his feet in the midst of devastation. 

“That’s exactly the question I’d like to know,” Rain jumped up equally as quickly and looked down at Algernon, “What are we doing here?  Algernon, to the door, double time.” He barked before turning back to the homeowners a wave of The Strange penetrating his words, “ I suggest, as you were citizens, military maneuver in operation.”  He said and quickly followed the retreating Algernon out the door.

In the crowded market, the boys found a feeling of safety and a jeweller.  Algernon held out the gem and Rain, squeamish at its origins, took it up in a silk handkerchief that appeared from nowhere. With the cool gem now on his person, Rain stepped up to the stall as Algernon walked on a little, already scanning the surface thoughts of the shopkeeper.

“Ah, yes young sir, has something caught your eye?” The shopkeeper smooth patter washed over Rain who smiled politely and pulled out the silk.

“Good day to you sir, I have an unusual gem and I was hoping you could tell me its providence and value with the option to purchase?”  He replied smoothly back as he lay out the silk revealing the black gem at its colourful centre.

What the….no….it is!…oh the gods…

Algernon couldn’t help turning around the watch the shopkeepers face go through a mixture of emotions, mostly fear and anxiety.  Rain saw the same expressions and understood that knowledge of the origin of the gems was known to the public of Celephais.  

The shopkeeper cleared his throat and attempted to control his expressions before speaking again, “And where did you find such a specimen?”

“I travel extensively.  I believe that one came from ruins across the sea.”  

This is not safe, I don’t want anything to do with it…

“Ah, no I’m not interested, sorry.”  The shopkeeper pushed the stone back to Rain.

“What a shame. Could you advise me on who can speak to about this gem?”

The shopkeeper’s thoughts were a jumble of anxiety, he wanted the gem gone and quick.  And then a solution came to him.

He’s dodgy.  I don’t like him anyway.  Algernon picked up before he said to Rain.

“Well yes, there is a gentleman jeweller down at the docks who specialises in the…more exotic gems.  He may be interested in your bauble.”

Thanking the jeweller who physically relaxed as Rain stepped away from the stall and started down the hill to the docks.  Algernon soon caught up and they exchanged notes.

“He didn’t like it, did he.” Rain said sensing his friend beside him.

“No.  He knew what it was, but never even spoke it to himself.”

“How about the recommended jeweller?”
“Not trustworthy.”

“Well, that’s fine. I’m not trustworthy.”

“So, we’re going?”

“We have to go that way anyway.”

“Do I have to ask, is it safe?”

Rain smiled and did not reply.

Bruce and Peggy were almost to the docks when both were stopped in their tracks by a sight they hadn’t expected to see in Dreamland.  Eldin Lightfeather and his goon in a bowler hat talking to a vegetable seller.  Peggy slipped on her latest cypher, a hat, and touched a local walking the other way.  Instantly, she looked exactly like them, clothes and all.  Bruce stepped back behind some stalls to watch the two known denizens of Crows Hollow, haggle with the farmer.

“Do you  want to sneak by him?”  Bruce asked as they watched a bag of gems being exchanged for a basket of leaves. 

“What!?  Are you crazy?” Peggy rounded on him using the face of another, “I can’t go near them, those are the ones that stabbed me!”  

Peggy stared at the two supposed men in front of her and their forms wavered and dissolved.  Past the form taken in Dreamland, their true natures were revealed, that of bird-headed men.  Men just like the skeleton she had found with Noel ten years ago!  Her mind boggled at the implications that the people of Crow’s Hollow had been interfering in humanity for millennia!

“Can’t we hide or go around through the side streets?” She asked.

“But you have the perfect disguise right now.  We should sneak back and see what he’s up to.”

“But I’m not that good at stealth.”  She whined, uncharacteristically.  

Bruce tapped her on the arm, connecting them together telepathically.

You just have to follow them, trust in your disguise.  I’ll be right behind you.

Fine, but you owe me. She replied, as she stepped back into the flow of the crowd and headed towards Lightfeather and his companion.

Hanging back, Bruce kept his bulk well hidden while still keeping in touch with what was going on.

Stiff and unnatural, Peggy as the local walked up to a stall nearby and pretended to sort through the wares on offer.  She could see now that the leaves exchanged were purple with orange variegation to them, just like the ones described by Maximillian.  So this is how Lightfeather picked up his supply of Bywandine.  It seemed odd even to Peggy that someone so respected was doing such a simple low-level task.  But, she was unable to bring herself to step closer to hear what they were talking about.

I wonder where his hideout is here?  Bruce thought, startling Peggy.

So I have to follow Lightfeather?!  Can’t I just follow the farmer instead?

He’s not going to tell us what we need to know.  Do what you can, Peggy.

As soon as Lightfeather and companion looked to leave, Peggy steeled herself with a deep breath in and followed at a distance.  She could see them chatting, but once more she was too far away to hear and couldn’t bring herself to move closer.  Soon the duo turned down an alleyway that was relatively unpopulated compared to the markets and Peggy didn’t feel she could keep up the tail.  

Okay, double back.  I’ll meet you at the farmer. Came Bruce’s resigned reply.

The farmer was unloading produce to a market stall when Peggy and Bruce finally met up again.  Bruce, leaned on the cart and waited to be noticed.

“Er…can I help you?” The farmer asked, a little concern in his voice.

“You had dealings with a friend of mine.” Bruce replied cheerily, “You gave him leaves and he gave you a big bag of gems.”

“I…I have a lot of herbs.” The farmer gestured to his handcart which was full of many varieties of herbs and fresh vegetables.

“This would be a specific herb. Where did you get them from?”

“My farm…out of town…”
“There didn’t seem to be a lot of herb for a lot of gems.  Are they rare?”

“No…they grow wild…just no one else seems to want them.”

“What are they used for?”

“They’re said to be medicinal.  They’re used by some who Dreamwalk.”

Though he knew the herb was for Dreamwalking on Earth, Bruce hadn’t considered it could be used from this side too.

“Can you use it to Dreamwalk?”  He asked the farmer who shook his head.

“Never tried.”

“Do you have any more, I could pop by your farm to pick it up.”  Bruce smiled and scared the farmer even more.

“Why would I want you at my farm, you scare me.”  He said clearly putting his cart between himself and his brute of a man.

“Well, then I’ll scare you and still pop by.  Why not make this easier and faster and just give me your address.”

The farmer gave directions to his farm.

Peggy and Bruce walked away now back to the warehouse with what they had discovered.

The jeweller worked out of a small shop front at the docks.  Algernon and Rain had already walked by once and glanced in to see a figure wearing a turban sitting at a display case.  Algernon stationed himself just outside the window to the store and scanned the individual’s thoughts.

Ah, the black ships.  I wonder if they’ll bring me some of their lovely rubies, It thought covetously.

“Are you sure you’re okay going in alone?” He asked Rain.  

Rain actually thought for a moment, straightened up a little and smiled, pleased to know that someone had his back.

“Don’t worry, this is what I do.”  He replied, and entered the shop.

Behind the counter, the turbaned individual displayed a creepy smile as Rain entered.  Rain thought nothing of it, the room was dark and the reputation of the individual did not lead him to think he was dealing with an honest gentleman.  He put his best and most charming face on and stepped up to the counter.

“Good afternoon, you have been recommended to me by a fellow jeweller in the marketplace.” Rain started, buttering up his target who didn’t seem that interested in the praise.

“Indeed, and how can I be of assistance today?”

“I came across this interesting gem, and the last dealer refused to identify it for me.”  Rain pulled out the silk hanky and lay out the black gem in front of the dealer.

But how! Algernon instantly picked up from the jeweller’s surface thoughts, I must save them!

Rain too noticed the pause and was ready for the fake smile and brush off when it came, 

“I’m afraid this is just a rather pretty onyx, common in certain parts.”

Rain took a breath and drew on his link with The Strange to suggest a new course of action to the shopkeeper, “I suggest, you could buy this gem if you’re honest with me.” He said quietly without menace or threat.  To his frustration, the shopkeeper seemed to brush off the Suggestion.

“But I am being honest, friend.”  The jeweller replied simply, but Rain could see the avarice, he wanted the stone.

“What a shame, I guess I’ll just keep it then.” He said, Sleight of hand the gem and silk back where it had come from before turning to leave.

“Oh, don’t leave so soon.  I am still interested in your…bauble.  Please, sit and drink with me a moment while I consider an offer.”  The jeweller said and Rain smiled quietly to himself before returning to sit down, return the gem to the counter and accept the offered drink. 

Outside, Algernon picked the surface thought of the jeweller and grew concerned.

He’ll give them to me after a few of these, no one has tolerance for the drink like me.

Inside the cherry coloured liquor was poured from a small cut crystal bottle and handed across the counter to Rain who accepted it gladly.

“What an unusual cordial, “ He said, breathing in the drink and noting it’s potency.  He took a good sip of the liquid before dabbing his lips with another silk handkerchief, allowing the liquid to absorb into the cloth.

“Yes, it is a personal favourite,” The jeweller grinned again and started a waffling tale of where the onyx is mined in mountains…

“…North of the Lost City of Zin…”

Rain listened patiently, sipping and palming the liquor as he thought through what he could do next.  He’d finished the glass before he’d thought of a new plan.

Outside, Algernon heard the frustration of the jeweller and his concern rose.

He should be more affected by now.

“Would you like another?” The jeweller offered up the cut crystal bottle, and Rain held out the glass with a smile.

“Love one.”

Inside, Rain’s mind was going through all the options.  

What I want to happen,  He thought, Is for this guy to get so drunk that he sees me as his best friend and tells me what I want to know.  Amongst the thought, The energies of The Strange played and twisted working subtly on the scene.

Outside, Algernon listening to the thoughts of the jeweller, was dismayed when the signal became faint and distant.  Looking in through the window he could see both Rain and the jeweller still sitting at the counter, perfectly still.

For Rain and the jeweller, it was a lovely afternoon chatting with a friend.  The jeweller was significantly more drunk than he thought he should be, but the man across the way was harmless, charming and completely sober.    The jeweller looked at his glass and tried focusing his thoughts.

“Don’t…don’t worry about the gem… I’ll keep them safe.” He said

Them?  “They’re people?” Rain asked, pleased that somehow his wild imaginings had become real.

The jeweller nodded drunkenly, “A black onyx such as this, is the soul of one of my countrymen.”

Countrymen? Rain thought, knowing full well the gem had come from the Lang Algernon had killed.  He looked again at the jeweller and physically blanched realising that under the turban, jeweller’s white gloves and the weirdly creepy grin, the jeweller was indeed a Lang.  

Stupid, stupid, stupid! He thought to himself as he pulled out a few of the red sapphires from his purse.

“So Lang soul’s make onyx, while my countrymen make these.”

“Stupid monkies….yes, yes.  But what do they matter?”  The jeweller replied completely oblivious to what he was saying.

“They matter, “Rain gestured to the red gems in his hand, “Because this matters.” Pointing to the onyx, “And they are the same.”

“A monkey would think that.” The jeweller mumbled, “The black gem…he really matters.  You…you’re just useful as gems and then meat and nothing more.”

“And why do you matter?” Rain asked now, all his attention fixed on the drunk Lang, “What is the purpose of Lang?”

“We are the true servants of the masters.  You’d be barely a meal.” The Lang giggled at his joke at Rain’s expense.  Disregarding the jibe, Rain continued,

“Masters?”

“The Moonbeasts.”

“And their Master?”

“They serve the Dark god, Nyarlathotep.”

“Tell me about the  Dark god.”

Outside, Algernon was now very worried.  He could see that neither the jeweller nor Rain had moved for several minutes.  Finally, he entered the store and walked up to Rain slumped unconscious in his seat, a rye smile on his lips.  A across the counter the Lang was also unconscious seemingly talking quietly in his sleep.  Shaking his head, at the crazy abilities of the little conman, he leapt across the counter and quickly searched.   Tucked away for easy access were two daggers with serrated edges that he quickly pocketed.  Stashed away under the counter he found a small box containing three red gems of the sort they had become accustomed to seeing, and a small black sphere.  A tingling in his scalp made him aware of the presence of The Strange and he quickly snapped up all four with a free cloth and quickly leapt back over the counter and left Rain to whatever he was doing.

“So, is there any hope for your countrymen, for ones turned to gems?” Rain asked now realising that there may be more lives that could be saved than just the herb and spiral dust users.

“It is up to the Moonbeasts. If they are willing…” The Lang petered out, he was more than a little drunk now. Rain had heard enough anyway. This latest illusion had served its purpose.  With a release of The Strange the shared dream dissipated and he and the Lang found themself sitting across from each other, the onyx between.

“Well, what a charming afternoon.  I’m sorry we couldn’t do business today…” Rain said moving to take back the onyx and the silk it lay upon. With a violent suddenness, the Lang snatched at the onyx, too slow for Rain’s quick hands who made the gem disappear.

The jeweller, now reached for his trusty daggers kept for the purpose of thieves.  Neither was where he’d left them and his mind turned to the precious item he kept hidden in a box under the counter. Sure enough, those too was missing.

I the meantime, Rain had got up and had the door open as the Lang climbed over his counter and lunged at the retreating back of the human.  Dropping down and rolling forward, Rain dodged the Lang attack who was now on all fours and looking far more like the beast than the gentile shopkeeper.  Again the Lang went to chase after Rain, but this time Algernon was ready and caught hold of it midstride.  He pushed it out over the docks and as soon as he was over the water, let the levitation force go and the Lang dropped with a splash into the harbour.

Rain tipped his hat to Algernon and silently they left, making it back to the warehouse before dark. 

That night, the group debriefed on their afternoon out in Celephais.  Bruce and Peggy shared their information about Lightfeather that made Rain go so quiet he almost forgot to mention his adventure with the Lang jeweller until Algernon prompted him.  Algernon showed the sphere he’d found in the store to Peggy.

“I know this, “ She said, surprised to find it here of all places, “It’s what was left of thonic.  Hertzfeld has been experimenting with one for his phasing project.”

No mention was made of the book that had so taken Bruce’s interest, and Rain made a note to corner Bruce about it sometime very soon.

22. Celephais

Out from the dark tunnels of the ghouls and the gugs, the group are blinded by the whitewashed walls and brass minarettes of Celephais, a human city on the other side of the sea. After days of rough travel, some of the party are looking forward to the comfort and familiarity of city living.  For Peggy, Celephais was the last destination of the long lost Noel Hagan and confrontation with shadows from her past.

*****************************************************************************************

“I’m telling you I can’t be seen in public like this, look at me.”  Rain complained as the group left the stone steps leading off the cliffside and entered the city of Celephais proper.  Whitewashed wall of stunning beauty lined the narrow alleyway of cobblestone.  The city had the look of a place newly renovated, the grime of city living covered by a new coat of paint.  

In contrast, the party was a mess. After three days of hard travel, their clothes were sour and dusty, many had bloodstains from their numerous fights and none had bathed in days.  Rain was most affected. Usually decently metrosexually presented, his white rainbow suit that he’d been so pleased within Halloween,  had not weathered the days of travel and battle well.  Crumpled, rumpled and dirty, with a large tear on the shoulder from the aurumuorax attack he was mortified at the thought of having to interact with people in this condition.

“They may be all Lang and bad, so it won’t matter.” Said Bruce glancing around at windows and doorways looking for the life of this city.  The low mumble of voices was slowly increasing as they moved closer to the heart of this civilisation.

“That’s even worse, how can you face an enemy down looking like a bagman.”

Soon the alleyway opened up into the main thoroughfare and the group saw Celephais for the first time.  The city was a bustling, happy enough community of humans.  Everywhere people were going about their everyday lives, chatting, bartering, arguing, carousing.  Their style of clothing marked this community as inspired by the middle east.  Men wore long loose robes like thobe with loose pants beneath. Women’s dress was more decorative but equally loose gowns with long colourful shawls they used to protect themselves from the sun’s glare.

The city was busy, vibrant and beautiful. Bruce and Rain looked out at the colour and life with a renewed sense of adventure.  Peggy was blind to everything except tall lanky men. With nervous excitement and not a little trepidation, she expected to see him at a stall or turning and corner and her stomach would do summersaults or make her feel sick in equal measure. Only Algernon looked out at the beauty of the city and scowled.  

“It seems too…nice.”  He grumbled behind the group as they spotted a bathhouse, decorated in colourful glazed tiles.  Rain made straight for the entrance as the other more circumspectly picked their way through the crowd.  

“I don’t want to go to the baths.” Algernon protested after Bruce and Peggy had completed their own self-assessment and felt a bath was in order.  Peggy turned to Algernon who instantly flinched away covering his ears.

“No, I will refrain from pulling your ears if you will join us for a bath like a civilised person.” She said, stunning Algernon who quickly complied in case there was a hidden catch.

As with other recursions, the group found they have the local currency, a collection of red gems.

“Oh, and I’d love a set of your local garb, do you think that could be arranged?” Rain asked, stripping off his coat there in the foyer.

“Ah, we’d love new clothes.”  Bruce altered and Rain negotiated a price.  It was more than he wanted to pay, but the baths awaited and he didn’t try too hard to negotiate.

Surprisingly, the baths were open and men and women bathed together.  Rain and Algernon did not waste time and were soon amongst a group of young chatty women. Bruce looked at the small bathing towels on offer.

“I think you should know that I’m bigger than this.”  He then saw Peggy and pointed her out to the other two.  She alone stood at the side of the baths fully dressed with a towel in front of her.  With a moment’s thought and a theatrical wave of a wrist, Rain made a screen of opaque material around her so she could undress in privacy.  Soon she was also out in the pool, a little distance from the others a towel firmly wrapped around her.

“So, have you sussed out the local customs in regards to seducing local women?”  Bruce said by way of reproach to Rain who would have none of it.  The was in his element, and with a sly smile, he replied.

“No, what me to ask for you?”

A large blonde headed man rippling with muscles joined the group and was soon chatting comfortably with the girls.  From her quieter corner of the pool, Peggy could see a shimmer, something like a heat haze around the well-manicured Viking.  As she watched him, her vision seemed to pierce an illusion and beyond the muscles, she could see another human, very similar in appearance, with less bulk to him.  Her instincts told her he was not from around here, but a traveller like themselves.  Carefully, she made her way over to the group and touched Rain’s arm.

“I’m done here, I’ll see you outside.”  She said ignoring the cool stares from the girls in the group.  In her head she pointed out their nordic friend, “He’s not what he seems?”

“Thanks, Peggy, see you outside then,”  He replied and quietly meeped a message to Algernon sharing Peggy’s suspicions.

“Oh, so you speak the language of the ghouls.” The Nord commented conversationally and instantly Rain thought they were caught out.

“You speak ghoul?!”  It had taken both Algernon’s knowledge and Rain’s knack for language to decipher the meep, clicks and chirps of the ghoul.  Even then, it had taken Alfred’s friendship and a large meat meal to ingratiate to ghoul to them.

“Oh no,  I can’t speak it.  I’ve heard it in the catacombs under the blighted city.  How is it you are fluent?”

“Algernon here has studied languages extensively and I tend to pick languages up like bad penny’s.” Rain relaxed back into the pool, pleased to be able to show off their abilities, even as Algernon scowled at the openly sharing of such information. “We’ve only just come from there.”

“Ah, “He also laid back in the warmth of the water and seemed to relax, “Yes, I ended that dream pretty quickly, there are more interesting places to visit than that ruin.  The name’s Anders Ohlson.”  The Nord reached out a hand in the standard western gesture and Rain reached across and took it.

“Pavel, so you are Herb user?”
“Are there other ways of travelling?”

“Several, we use a…group meditation.”  Rain ad-libbed. It wasn’t far from the truth and avoided having to answer other questions about the spark, “Where are you from?”

“I live in New York,” Anders replied and Rain internally dithered.  His old workplace was a known provider of the dreamwalkers herb, it was likely they knew the same people.

“Ha, all the way the other side of…wherever we are and we meet…neighbours.  Well, across the country. We’re from Seattle.”

“New Orleans,” Bruce the proud southerner, intended to be properly identified no matter what Rain’s mischief.

Peggy was soon back in her sodden towel.  Their clothes were not ready so she was confined to the bathhouse if she liked it or not. Having now been introduced to Anders she joined the others in the bath.

“What other places have you travelled to, Mr Ohlsen?”  Bruce asked and Anders sat back and thought.

“The Vaults of Zin, Ulthar, that’s another lovely town, but my favourite so far has to be Celephais.  Time seems to work a little differently here.”

Algernon, who had not been shy about his dislike for this new city, finally asked the group, “But, don’t you think this place is icky?” 

Rain thought for a moment.  He was usually good at seeing through lies and illusions, having made so many himself. Nothing seemed amissed except the fact that everything did seem very clean and well kept.  I was like Anders had said, time seemed to work a little differently there.  In the end he could only shake his head and shrug.  

“We’re following two friends who arrived here a couple of weeks ago.”  Giving no names, Peggy described Noel and his moustached companion.

“The shorter one, yes I’ve seen him around.  He was out in the market place only an hour ago.”

Peggy instantly became agitated. She wanted out, but without clothing was stuck.  

“Tell me, how often do you use the herb?” 

“Whenever I can afford it.” He said, seemingly deflecting the question.  Algernon scanned his surface thoughts and found a worry that there may be a problem with supply.  

He wanted to know about the herb as well, He thought and an image of a moustache man in a pith helmet flashed in his mind.

Meanwhile, Rain was putting on the charm and Anders seemed to relax his position on telling these strangers his secrets, “In New York?  Where do you get it from?”

“I get my Bywandine from a  barman at a nightclub called The Last Shot.” Refraining from wincing, Rain could hear Peggy thinking about the herbs, her mind linked to something beyond.

Bywandine…bywandine…what is there to know?  

In response, an answer in Peggy’s own mental voice replied, 

A herbal concoction made of opium and plants from the Dreamlands.  There was no spiral dust in the mix at all.  It was now clear that there were two distinct drugs and one was much older than the other, at least in its use on Earth.  

“I’m curious, “  Bruce asked as Rain shared Peggy’s information with Algernon, “Do you ever get hurt while dreaming?”

“No, I tend to leave the dream before it gets serious.” He looked at the group and their collection of scars and scrapes, “Are you telling me that you travelled through the catacombs knowing you could get hurt?”
Rain looked to the others before admitting, “We do not dream these worlds, we walk them for real.  There’s no part of us back at home unconscious and safe.  But I’d suggest that death here could be as serious for you as it would be for us.”

“Yes…” Anders looked at the group as if with new eyes. “You all are braver than you look.”

By this time the whole group were more relaxed with their new friend.

“You may want to know that we met a friend of mine among the ghoul.  He, like you travelled using the Bywandine and one trip he got stuck, he thought he’d had a bad lot of herb.”

“Bad herbs?” Now Anders looked concerned, “I didn’t know that could happen, who was this friend?”

“A Seattle local, you wouldn’t know him.” Rain lied smoothly only to be berated by Peggy in his mind.

Why not tell him the guys name, what is it going to hurt?

Too close to home.  They both bought the drugs from the Last Shot so it’s not unreasonable to imagine they could have met.

“His name was Brian,” Peggy told Anders and Rain mentally rolled his eyes.

He was Alfred, you met the man.

“Oh sorry, Alfred.” She apologised and Rain could only sink into the hot water of the bath.

“Yeah,  I think that Rain…ah Pavel forgets who he is sometimes,” Bruce added.  Rain considered drowning.  “So how do you travel via the herbs?”

“Well, mostly I climb the seventy steps of Light Slumber and walk through the Cavern of Flame, but sometimes I come here directly.”

“You mean you get to choose where you go?”

“If I think about it.”

“Where would you recommend going here in Celephais?”
“There’s the Turquoise Temple, the bathhouses of course, the ocean view from the docks is quite lovely, but stay away from the Black Galleys from Sarkomand.”

“We saw those,” Peggy said remembering the line of people being ushered onto the ships, “They’re slavers, do they trade in slaves here too?”

“No…” Anders baulked when he heard this new information, “They mostly trade red gems for general goods, food, supplies of onyx.”

Algernon and Rain looked at each other at the mention of onyx remembering the gem that the dead Lang had coughed up.  Rain shared that image with Peggy who shared some information of her own.

The red gems, they make them from the human slaves.

Rain went gray at the thought and even Bruce noticed that there was something wrong.

“They’re made of people.” He meeped to Algernon who doesn’t seem surprised.

“They probably do it through the burns.” He meeped back, and instantly Rain translated it to Peggy.

As Bruce was out of the link, he had been thinking about what Algernon had said about the city feeling wrong. 

“Algernon, tell me more about the ‘icky’ feeling of yours?” He said off to one side, away from the rest.

“It’s too nice.” Algernon scowled distrustfully of the seeming beauty around him, “there’s always a trade off.  It’s not right.”

“There are stories that they sail to the moon in those black ships.” Anders was telling the group, “ I met a guy who went there.  He’d been kidnapped by the Lang, but he was eventually freed by a group of cats.  What was his name…Randolph…Carter.”

“Cats?” Bruce said, thinking back to the cat that had spoken to Peggy, “Why, what was he doing on the moon?”

“He was obsessed with finding some place, a city of the gods called Kadarth.  He was captured on his way there and taken to the moon.”

A bathhouse attendant walked over and informed the group that their clothing was ready for them whenever they had finished. Peggy couldn’t wait and left directly without a goodbye or thanks to the informative Anders Olhson.  Bruce and Rain gave their goodbyes to Anders as well as the ladies that had made the hour or so such a delight.  Algernon asked Anders for his email address, which he gladly gave the young man with a promise to keep in touch once they were back Earthside again. 

When the men joined Peggy in the changing rooms she was already fully dressed in a long loose-fitting robe in a tan colour.  Around the v-necked collar and tight cuffs, lavish embroidery in silk featured pastel flowers.  Underneath she wore harem pants, but nothing would part her from her Doc Martens which looked a little idiosyncratic contrasted with the light flowing material.  The men were all in simple long tunics and trousers in various pastel colours, again tight only at the cuffs and ankles.  Bruce shifted and growled about wearing a dress and Rain preened in front of a polished bronze mirror.

“You know, I could get use to this, “Rain mused, “lots of room for pockets and I make it look good.”

“Hey, so do I.”  Bruce stood beside his diminutive friend in the mirror, the usually loose fitting tunic stretching tight across his chest and biceps.  He tried moving the tunic around to get it to sit on his heavy frame.

“You would if you stopped fidgeting.” Rain turned and straightened Bruce’s collar, pulled uneven.

Once back on the street the group were happy for the new lightweight clothing.  As the day advanced, the heat and light of a sun directly above baked the open city streets.  Following the directions given by Anders they soon found some relief in the marketplace, a semi-covered group of narrow alleyways and small streets full of stall owners and shopkeepers spruking their wares. As usual the groups response to the bustle of life around them varied.  Peggy,determined to at least solve the question of Noel, went from shopkeeper to shopekeeper asking if they’d seen a tall lanky man or his moustached friend. Rain moved through the crowd as if born to them, alighting at a stall that caught his eye, chatting a while before moving on, delighted with everything he saw.  Bruce, didn’t so much as move through the crowd, as the crowd moved around him.  He walked like a predator, comfortable in this space but alway watchful.  Algernon tried to keep to the centre of the party at all times.  Everything around was assessed for possible threats before being dismissed or carefully circumnavigated.  The only time he spoke was to nag Peggy about looking for cyphers.

“Anything strange remember, Peggy.  Cyphers.”  He’d whisper as she marched across the souq to another seller interested in her attention.  At this stall of trinkets of various lineages, a leather-bound journal caught Peggy’s eye.  Now better attuned to the Strange, the item shivered like a heat illusion. Peggy was just about to point it out when Bruce picked it up and started scanning through the pages.

“A gentleman weathering an odd hat and a large moustache was seen here in the marketplace today. He is a friend and we’re trying to catch up with him, have you seen him?”

“Hmm, I couldn’t say. So many people in the market.  Maybe if the lady peruses my wares a moment I can gather my thoughts…yes, I believe a man like that was in the markets today…”

As Peggy dickered with the shopkeeper, Rain’s attention was drawn to Bruce.  The journal he’d picked up had his total attention.   Madly flicking through pages of the handwritten journal, Bruce put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a handful of the red gems.

“How much?” He asked without raising his eyes from the book. 

“Two gems, a unique item that one.” The shopkeeper smiled.  Bruce did not question the price and just paid the two gems.“Two gems, for a pre-used book.  Surely, now that you’ve overcharged us for a half useless item, maybe you can remember a little more about my friend?” 

“Certainly, he was also looking for two friends.  He was told that a tall lanky man with a hooked nose and another heavy set gentleman were at the docks.”

On hearing the description of the two individuals, moustache himself had been looking for all thoughts of Bruce and his journal fled Rain’s mind.  Instead the looming character of Eldin Lightfeather and his goon in a bowler hat.  That image, instantly sent to Peggy, made her start.

“We have to go, now!” She said aloud with no further explanation and started down the hill to the docks.

“What?” Algernon asked, “Will Robertson?”
“Yes,” Rain replied, starting to move after Peggy, “And hell, we’re running in the wrong direction!”

“Wait….what?  Will Robertson?” Bruce, only half hearing the conversation and only catching a quarter, tucked away his latest acquisition and followed the others as they moved rapidly towards the docks.

The docks of Celephais were as bright and clean as the rest of the city.  Half a dozen wharves stuck out into calm azure waters as their crews were busy loading or unloading, repairing or cleaning.  On the landside, pubs full of shore-leave sailors caroused happily in the sun.  It was a place of industry, and jovial companionship.  All except the far docks where a black sailed ship was quiet.  Peggy saw the black ship and made a beeline straight to it only stopping for the guard on the gangplank.

“Have you seen these men?”She described to the Lang as she had all morning.

“Nope.”

“Here’s a gem, does that help loosen your tongue?”

The sailor thought for a moment.

“Nope.”

Giving up she started walking along the docks in the hope of seeing any one of her quarries.

Meanwhile, the others were just arriving at the docks.  Rain made a hat with a heavy brim out of the stuff of dreams to hide his face, he wasn’t interested in gaining the attention of Mr Lightfeather.  Both Rain and Algernon spot an oddly eccentric fellow walking out of a bar.  Wearing a legitimate turn of the 19th-century safari suit and pith hamlet and growing the most preposterous moustache, he had to be their man. 

“What animals do you think he most looks like, a walrus…The Lorax?” Algernon asked as Rain pointed out the man to Peggy via the telepathic link. As soon as she orientated her view to match, she quickened her pace and started marching towards the man.  Unfortunately, Algernon, Rain and Bruce were not the only ones paying attention to proceedings.  Bruce spotted them first, dressed in the local style, though they were not locals. One even tried to hide his white skin with a badly wrapped turban.  Looking at each other as soon as Peggy came into view, they started forward.  They looked decidedly, unfriendly. 

“Hey, watch out. Someone’s coming, seven o’clock.”  Bruce murmured to the boys as he stepped up to intercept the first of the two men. 

“What? It has to be well past twelve…”  Rain started to say before spotting the two men Bruce had referred to. “ Oh, right you are.”  

All the time, Peggy was moving ever closer to the moustached man.  She passed under a tree planted for shade on the docks.  From its bows a small cat fell onto her, obscuring her vision and alerted her quarry. He turned to see Peggy struggling with the cat and was off down the docks.

“Let me work here!”  Peggy said, grabbing the cat and holding it to her shoulder.  The cat wriggled free and she let it go, freeing her hand for a new purpose.  Rolling her hand over each other she drew on the Strange to create a plasma ball which she hurled, hitting the ground in front of the moustached man.  It worked, stopping him in his tracks.  

“Where’s Noel!”

Just behind the two men turned to look across the docks to a third big lad with a heavy hammer and muttonchop sideburns.  He nodded and hefted his hammer onto his back. 

“We need to get Dr Peggy some earcuffs.”  Algernon said just as Rain started off to intercept hammerman.

“Where is he?”  Peggy placed a heavy hand on the moustached man’s shoulder, a bolt from her hand crossbow in her other hand, “Any word other than direction will result in loss of blood.”

“What do you want with him?”  Moustached man said in a heavy Victorian English Accent and not too little trepidation.

Peggy didn’t answer, just cut the man with the bolt.

“Excuse me, “ Rain stepped up in front of Hammerman and sending out a wave of Strange energy enthralled the man to stillness, “I was hoping you’d help me stop a bloodbath here today.”

Peggy’s eyes grew large with the thrill of power she had over the little man.  She smiled a malicious grin moustached man who could do nothing but try and stumble away from her baleful presence.  Her hands like claws, she lashed out to grab him and missed.

Bruce and Rain, however, did not miss the activity occurring on the rooftop just above the Peggy and moustached man scene.  A gaunt individual with a large hooked nose shouted orders and pointed menacingly in Rain’s direction to a second man in a red woollen cap setting up a crossbow.  Rain’s eyes narrowed as he realised that the thin man was not the dreaded Mr Lightfeather, but the backstabbing Caw eh Carve, last of Railsea and former henchmen of Don Wyclef Drood.  With only a slight shuffle to one side, he placed the big hammer-guy between himself and the crossbowman and hoped he was a lousy shot. With his orders given, Caw eh Carve walked out of sight.  The crossbowman shot was true and Rain had to dodge, breaking the enthral.  Hammer-guy looked down at the little man in front of him, his hammer ready. 

Bruce walked up to the turbaned man and took a defensive stance.

“Stop there friend.”  He said, crowbar in his hands.  In response, turbaned-man pulled out a falchion and swungs it round to strike Bruce.  Bruce lazily batted the falchion away with his crowbar and waited for his chance to strike.

After the first bolt sizzled across the docks, Algernon stepped back quickly, not to pull his own lethal crossbow, but to get a better view of the shooter.  As soon as he spotted the crossbowman on the roof, he flung the power of the Strange out like a huge hand, capturing the bowman and levitating him into the air with a yelp.  

Peggy, on the other hand, was in full control.  She knew she could burn him if she wanted, and lapped up the power she had over the man.  Moustached man took one look at her wild face and bolted, gaining a burn to the back of neck as he made a break for it.

“I don’t usually like hurting people, but I need to know.  Where is Noel?”  She pounced, grappling him to the ground.

By this time hammer-guy was back in control of himself again and about to move when, Rain once more used enthral, “I’d rather you not get involved in what’s going on over there.”  He said, as he felt her wild exuberance and wondered if he wasn’t in the wrong conversation.

For Bruce, things were going much better.  Swinging his crowbar, he clobbered the turbaned-man across the head.  The thug swayed on his feet dazed and unable to respond.  With a shove, Bruce knocked him down and then sat on him and watched the others with their altercations.

Another crossbow bolt streaked now from above as the crossbowman hung above the docks in Algernon’s levitate.  Dodging away, Rain once more lost the enthral on hammer-guy, and once more stared into the eye of the angry thug.  He cringed as the hammer-guy lifted his huge sledged over his shoulder, and grinned maliciously. Then the body of the crossbowman fell out of the sky knocking him to the ground.  Their heads connected in a sickening crack as both collapsed into a heap at Rain’s feet.  Rain looked at the unconscious pile in front of him, the empty air above and then finally over to Algernon who was standing nearby pretending to be an innocent bystander.

“It’s raining men, hallelujah!”  Rain sang joyously, to the increasingly disturbed and bemused crowds.

Peggy, her hand inflamed, loomed over the moustached man, the image of a vengeful fire goddess.

“Peggy?” Came a more curious voice from inside the bar to the left.  The voice was unmistakable, without thought, the flame went out as Peggy turned to see a tall gangily man with a long pointed nose.

“Noel?  Where have you been?  You were gone, you were dead!”  

“I…I thought I was going to die too.  That one saved me, “ Noel pointed to the moustached man only now picking himself out of the dirt and out of Peggy’s reach, “Not that I think he meant to.”

“Gentlemen…”  An exuberant Rain jogged up to join Peggy and the two men ready to introduce himself, saw the tension in Peggy and decided to stand quietly by her side instead.

Bruce was trussing up turbanded man when the crossbowman and hammer-guy woke up and start running.  

“Catch and keep, Algernon.”  He called across the docks.  Algernon, who had been scanning the roofline for Caw eh Carve.  When it was clear he’d disappeared, Algenon casually turned, spotted the crossbowman and lazily flicked a wrist up.  Once more the sniper was pulled out of the grasp of gravity and thrown into the air, far away from any help or safety.

“I was swept up in the mudslide, was falling, battered by rocks and tree trunks when I slid straight into Maximillian Von Candlestick the Third.”  Once more he gestured to the man who bowed awkwardly in acknowledgement.  In Peggy’s mind, she could feel Rain roll his eyes and say, And you think my names are ridiculous.

Noel bent down closer so his and Peggy heads were almost touching, and whispered, “His real name is Max Brown.”  Snapping back to upright, oblivious to how that close proximity had affected Peggy, Noel continued his story, “The world whirled around and suddenly I was in the well-appointed and comfortable library of the Implausible Geographic Society, half a world away.”  

Now he looked at Peggy noticed her barely contained demeanour.  With not a little trepidation, he asked, “So, how have you been?

The rant that came afterwards was spectacular and mind-numbing in its intensity. Rain, who was still connected telepathically received a double dose and later could not have told you exactly what was said, but knew it had to be at least along the same lines as what she’d already shared with them…possibly with more expletives.

To Noel’s credit, when it finally petered out he did not run or jibber it wasn’t his fault.  His response was one of incredulity and shock, (which helped), and with a calmness that obviously won over the conservative holders of university seats of power.

“They think you killed me?

“I had no evidence, nothing. They couldn’t prove anything either of course but that didn’t stop the slurs, the loss of tenure, lab and name.  I was reduced to living with Yaya, working out of her garage.”  She looked him up and down, searching for any impediments, any injuries and finding none, “And here you are…alive and well!  You couldn’t have dropped by? Shown your face?  Given in your notice?” 

“By that time I’d join the Society and we’re told to break ties, to leave our old lives behind.” He had the good grace to sound bad about it, but Peggy was now feeling more herself.

“Oh, we’ve all broken that one!”

“I knew people thought I was dead…I thought it was easier.  The people Maximillian are seeking are dangerous…” His list of excuses used up, he looked down on one of the most dangerous people he was likely to meet. 

“No kidding.” She said, finally turning away in something like disappointment, “So, you work with the Implausible…”

“…Geographic Society.”  He added, now on firmer ground, “We’re explorers.  We check up on dangers to society.  We’ve been following the trail of Bywendine for some time.”

Off to one side, Maximilian stood watching the reunion with an inscrutable expression on his face.  Rain made his way over to the dishevelled explorer and introduced the party.

“Very pleased to meet you Maximillian, I’m…” He paused, ready with one of his many false names, “…Rain, out there is Bruce and Algernon.”  He offered his hand and Maximillian shook it unhesitantly.

“Pleasure, it seems you compatriots have a few friends, “ He carefully, making sure Noel was between him and Peggy, he interrupted the conversation between the two long lost collaborators, “Noel, maybe we should go somewhere and talk to your new friends.”

Noel and Maximillian lead the way to an empty warehouse not far from the docks that they used on occasion while in Celephais.  Along came the two thugs, turbaned-guy and crossbowman.  Once the captives were secure, Maximilian filled the group in with his own investigations.

“Of course, I’ve been tracking Bywendine for years.  It was a clue in Noel’s initial translations of the South American artifact that led me down there myself to be in time for the mudslide.  We’ve known there are two organisations involved in the trade of Bywendine, a nasty fellow called Lightfeather… and the group we were following today, lead by James Moriarty.”

Rain, who had gone quiet as Eldin Lightfeather’s name was mentioned, quickly came back to life as soon as James Moriarty was spoken.

“J.M.  Peggy, you said the initials on Morris the goblin’s suitcase was J.M.  And, Wargen told us that Morris was called ‘Professor’ by some of the townfolk of Halloween, but he didn’t like it!

“We also saw someone else we knew, Caw eh Carve,”  Algernon mentioned, ”He was with the Drood Family out of Crow’s Hollow before earning disfavour by losing two shipments.”

“Yes, and we know that Lightfeather is also in with the Droods… “ Rain stopped, “Ah, but we were told that by Morris the Goblin so that might be suspect information now.”

Noel and Maximillian looked at the group in a new light.

“It seems we’re in the same line of business.” Maximilian finally said,  “You don’t happen to belong to The Estate, do you?”

It seemed childish to deny the fact so Peggy took the offensive.

“One moment I’m sitting in Yaya’s garage and next we’re in a fight with Amazon-Mad-Max-Wannabees.”

“Yes, that’s exactly how it happened all right, “ Rain teased, now that Peggy was behaving more like herself, “Just sitting around at Yaya’s, us four-”

“Quite.”  Maximilian interrupted, “ I think we need to compare notes, but in the meantime, how do you want to question our two visitors?”

“Separate them and interview them individually, “ Having been thinking about it for a while, Bruce now voiced his own opinion.  “Rain and I will take one, Peggy and Algernon can take the other.”

As a group, they went over to where the two thugs were stashed.  Algernon had taken from the Crossbowman his very impressive weapon.  A heavy crossbow in design, the arm was made from the single jawbone of a gug, the giants of the catacombs.  He now cocked it expertly and held it on the two thugs.

“You know we don’t need both,” Algernon said and Rain picked up on the refrain.

“Yes, gentlemen be useful.  Algernon says we don’t need both of you and he’s very clever, he does the levitation.” Rain looked pointedly at the sniper who looked a little ill.  The two men looked at each other but said nothing.

“Maximillian?  They were watching you, do you know them?”

“I’m afraid I’ve been asking questions, none very discreetly. It’s only natural I would collect an audience, but I’m afraid these mudlarks are unknown to me.”

Grabbing the once turbaned-guy, who was disappointingly normal-looking under his wrappings, Bruce dragged him aside for a little private chat.

“Now, I’d suggest you answer this one’s questions, “ Bruce menaced the ruffian, pointing to Rain, “ I don’t like killing people but, I really don’t like what your people are doing to my world and I wouldn’t mind breaking a few fingers.” He leaned in to grab a hand and Rain stifled a cry, 

“Oh, I can’t look when you get started.” He said and a frisson of The Strange flowed into the threatened violence.  “Please tell us who you work for before it gets…messy.”

“Why…why would I snitch on the boss?”  Said de-turbaned guy in an accent that was born within sound of the bells, and music to Rain’s ears.  He found it hard not to imitate him.

“Well, let’s see who would that be for starts?  It wouldn’t happen to be Don Wyclef Drood would it?”  

The thug said nothing, the name didn’t seem to raise a flicker for him. 

“No, of course not.  You work for the Professor, don’t you?”  This time the man’s lips pressed together and his eyes narrowed. He looked more shifty as his pupil’s darted around for an escape.

“So, how do you keep in touch with the Professor?  How does he give you orders?”

“Professor don’t give me orders, “ He replied truthfully enough, “I works for Old Fire Top or the toff, that Caw bloke.”

“Caw eh Carve?  Yes, we’re old friends.  But whose Old Fire Top?  Wouldn’t be the big guy I was talking to with the muttonchop sideburns?”

“Toby!” He said, almost laughing, it seemed he didn’t think much of Hammer guy.

“So who then?”

“Rodney…Rodney Dodds.” 

“And what were you to do?”

“We was told there were two nosy parkers sticking their whatits in the bosses business. We was there to give them discouragement.”

“And discouragement, was it six foot under sort of discouragement?” Bruce asked and the thug sneered.

“If it came to it.”

Bruce turned to Rain with a malicious grin on his face, “Do you have anything for making tattoos?”

“No,” Rain looked at Bruce curious as to his friends train of thought, “why?”

“I jus thought we could tattoo “I spilled my guts” on his forehead.  He wouldn’t be likely to go back to Old eh Carve in a hurry would he.”

Back in the previous room, now free of Rain in her mind, Peggy reached out a hand and touched the crossbowman.  Instantly their mind’s linked.

Who do you work for?

Get out of my head!

Not until you answer my questions, who do you work for?

Rodney Dodd.

Who works for?

James Moriarty.

Good.  What does Rodney do for Moriarty?

What the boss says.

Transporting goods?

Sometimes

What sort of goods?

Heavy. 

Now come on, I’m sure a sharp-eyed crossbowman like yourself would see a lot of things.

Bunch of herbs.

Leaving here?  Going where?

Dunno.

What’s he get for it?

Money…I guess.

What kind of money?

This stumped the sniper who, though sharper than the blunt tack in the other room, was no great mind.

We’re paid in pounds.

Red sapphires? She brought up an images of the gems used as currency in her mind.

Dunno

Seen anything like that before?

He paused again.  An image of a heavily wrapped Lang bringing a heavy case to see the boss.

Any changes after that?

New herbs.  An image of a thick leafed herb, red in colour appeared.  Down the centre, the leaf carried a pretty red and purple variegation.

You’re not local, where are you from?

London. His words didn’t match the pictures in his mind of a foggy, dirty town whose main transport seemed to be horse and carriage.

Not Modern London.

Nah, our London is better.  In our London, it’s always the 1890s.

Peggy sat back on her heals and thought for a moment.  Another recursion where London never moved out of the 19th century.  A recursion that spawned a James Moriarty surely also created his greatest nemesis, Sherlock Holmes.  

Heard of Sherlock Holmes?

The boss yells that name sometimes, some nosy nelly who doesn’t know their own business.  This last thought was pointed aimed at her and the others.  With true Peggy resilience, she ignored him.

How do you get there?

I just think about home, a little swirling feeling and there I am.

Which would mean they would need a key.  She looked up at the crossbowman’s knitted cap.

How about that hat of yours, come from there does it?

If his hands hadn’t been tied behind him, he would have snatched it off his head and held the dirty rag to him.

Me mam made it for me.

Peggy thought again, deciding the cap had travelled too far from its home to be a good key, but maybe there was another way.  She leaned back in over the sniper.

You wouldn’t want to leave your mam alone, would you?  Like, she’d never know what happened to you.  You’d just disappear.

What….what do you want?

I’m just saying, you want to go home.  We want to go with you.

While Peggy silently questioned the sniper, Algernon turned to Maximillian.

“I have not introduced myself, I am Algernon Bathazar Theobald.”

“Ah, another fellow with a distinguished name.” Maximilian chortled, pleased by Algernon’s impressive name.

“I wanted to ask, do the cats work for you?”

“Ho, ho no, not at all.  Anyone who has met a cat knows they have their own agendas.  I do find though, it pays to be nice to cats.”  Maximillian’s eyes drifted over the Peggy who seemed pleased about how her interview was going, “Er, that former companion of Noel’s…”

“I find it best to tell her what she wants.”

21. A Journey to the East

“Travel not to find yourself

but to remember who you’ve been all along.”

After tumultuous travel through the ruined city, the group has found shelter in an unlikely place.  Amongst the ‘ghouls’ most of the party found rest and a little peace right under the feet of the Lang that would see them enslaved or sacrificed to their gods, the Moonbeast.

Peggy has information that a friend, long thought dead, had travelled the ruins only a week before on his way to a country across the sea.  Now refreshed and a little more sure of herself, she’s determined to follow in his footsteps and find lost Noel Hagan.

*************************************************************************

In the fungal lit darkness below the spiral staircase, it was morning and ghoul life was just starting for another day. Though full from the feast last night, they picked over the bones of the moonbeast as others busied themselves with the every day tasks of surviving. 

Peggy, now refreshed from a night’s sleep and renewed in her purpose badgered both Rain and Algernon to ask the ghoul for information about Noel, her lost friend, and his moustached companion.

“They don’t have a word for moustache.” Rain yawned.  He amongst the party had not slept, having first been kept awake with the new action of his puzzle box, later as the concerns of the day entered his dreaming.  He looked up at Peggy balefully, “I guess I can use the word hairy and mime.” He suggested rubbing his top lip with his fingers.  He was surprised to find more than a few days stubble and lamented the lack of showers and laundries in this recursion.

“Yes, yes, “ Peggy acknowledge without listening to anything Rain had said, as usual. “A large waxed moustache and the other one is tall with brown hair, a long point nose and something of a horse face.”

“I don’t believe we have a word for horse either,”  Algernon added.  The meeps and chirps of the ghouls were a simple form of language and a million miles away from the breadth and depth of English.

“Just do what you can, we have to find him.”  She said walking over and sitting with Bruce who was putting together a more suitable breakfast that leftover raw moonbeast.

Algernon looked after her, “Doctor Peggy is broken.  She’s going to get us all killed.  She should go home.”

Rain heard him and couldn’t help but agree.  Almost to himself, he paraphrased, “If everyone was treated as they deserved, who would escape the madhouse.”  He looked to Algernon, the brilliant and terrifying sociopath and counted him as a friend. Who was really broken here?

“I can’t believe that I’m looking for Noel. He died, I saw him die.

“Ha, next thing you’ll know we’ll be bumping to my high school buddy,”  Bruce said by way of conversation with Peggy over breakfast.

“But it’s impossible,” Peggy repeated for the uncounted time when she let her thoughts drift to Noel, “There was simply no chance of him escaping.”

“What did happen to him?”  Bruce asked, pleased for this chance to tease out the detail surrounding the mysterious Noel Hagan.

“A mudslide,” Peggy answered simply without details.

“Was his body found?”

She didn’t answer, but neither was she convinced.

“Look, you know that amazing trap you made for the crow lady.”

“Dona Ilsa.” Rain correct from a group over.  Bruce waved acknowledgement and continued.

“Yeah, the crow lady.  She clicked something and escaped.  Couldn’t your Noel had something like that?”

Peggy shook her head, “We were research partners, he would have shown me.”  The recollection sparked something inside her and for the first time, she shared her story of Noel.

“We were in the same anthropology class, had the same thesis mentor.  His expertise was linguistics, he could talk to anyone.  

The university had received a whole shipment of things from South America and he was the obvious choice to try and make sense of it.  He found something odd he didn’t understand and he brought it to me.  It was revolutionary, new links to, until then, dismissed evidence.  We teamed up, him the face swaying the board to provide funding into our research, me with the background in the fringe fields and evidence-based work practices.  

Amongst the artifact was a set of tablets that showed the location to a temple and burial ground for an unknown god.  With his linguistics and my out-of-the-box thinking we worked out the co-ordinates and brought them up on satellite mapping apps. Sure enough, the shadow of buildings in the forest.  We’d found it, now we had to go there.

Using the last of the money I inherited from my parent, minus what my Yaya hadn’t taken away anyway, we set up and expedition.   When we reached the location, it was incredible, a lifetimes study fulfilled in a few stone buildings hidden on a forested hillside.  We found a skeleton, a humanoid creature with the head and beak of a bird, feathered wings, but a human-looking body and limbs.  In the texts, we discovered it was called a Skygod and seemed to be the inspiration for the Quetzalcoatl.  

Things couldn’t be going better, and then the rains came early.

The rain was so heavy that the ground, disturbed by our work, became unstable.  The decision was made to evacuate straight away and the students packed up the site.  Noel went back to the temple to secure our finds.  The landslide swept everything away, Noel, the temple, our findings, everything.

I went back alone, tried to finish the thesis in his name.  But without the evidence, it was anecdotal at best.  Our mentor thought it was a fraud, accused me of going mad, or worse, of killing Noel to….pepetuate a fairytale.  I was totally discredited, ruined totally in the scientific circles, socially and economically.  My best friend was dead and I had nothing to show for it.”

Peggy sat quietly.  Now that her story was out she was still, empty and yet more at peace.  While she had told her tale, the others had joined them.

“Well, I for one can believe four impossible things before breakfast.” Rain said, eyeing off the breakfast preparations.

“Only four, not six?” Peggy asked with the ghost of a smile.

Rain shook his head, “I’m a realist, I can only do four. “ He beamed to see a little of the old Peggy peaking though this new intense one. “Listen to what we found out.”

He gestured to Algernon who shared what the ghouls had knownabout the two mysterious men described by Peggy.

“A party of two men that matching your description travelled this way two weeks ago, heading south towards passages that are known but not travelled by the ghouls.  They take you to the eastern continent of Nyarlathotep.  The ghouls say that many creatures worship Nyarlathotep and that he is…unpleasant.”

“We need to follow them.”  Peggy had become more and more animated as Algernon had shared the ghouls’ recollections.  Now she was standing, unbreakfasted ready to head out and follow Noel and his companion into the darkness.

“Doctor Peggy, I don’t really want to go looking for an evil god.” Algernon said sharing his fears.

“Neither do I, but I have to find them” She replied adamantly, “If you come or don’t come it is up to you.”

“Peggy,” Rain asked breaking the tension forming in the group, “This Noel character is a good guy?”

Peggy looked around the group nervously, still disturbed by the events of the day before.

“He was the only one who believed me, in me.  He wasn’t afraid of me.  Yes, he was very good.”

“He was right.  You deserved to be believed.”  He replied simply and for the first time her demeanour softened.

“Thank you.”  She replied and shook her head, “But I just can’t believe he’s not dead.”

“I live in hope, “ Rain beamed, stealing a bite from preparations, “Your Noel is alive and if he lives then others can be as well.  Mr Hagan is now our quarry.”

When she looked like she might protest, Rain added.

“Peggy, we’ve called you many things, but crazy was never one of them.”

“No, you’re super cool.”  Bruce added finally handing out the breakfasts, “You are the machine whisperer.”

This amused Peggy and she smiled thoughtfully. 

“They are fun.  I would have changed my major if I’d known how much fun.”

After breakfast, supplies were carefully gathered from the ghoul and final goodbyes made.  Out into the darkness of the massive cavern only the fungus and columns as big as tree trunks broke up the monotony of the empty darkness.  Rain threw up one of his small suns for extra light.  

Bruce scoffed, “Don’t need the light, we can see perfectly well.”  And walked into one of the dark stone columns.

Their footsteps echoed and bounced from surface to surface, coming back to them louder than it had gone out. Rain made a game of first humming a tune and then harmonizing with the echo when it returned.  It was a pleasant sound, as harmony layered on harmony adding complexity to the simple song.  It was after the third harmony when Rain heard another voice singing along with his.  It was deeper and rougher than he could ever have achieved.  As a test, he started singing the words to the tune and listened to what the second voice sung.  The second voice could not articulate the words and it just repeated a garble that simulated the words.  By this time the rest of the party were aware of what was going on and everyone had turned to face where the second voice was coming from. 

In the dim gloom of the fungus, black towers of stone loomed with doors 30 foot tall outlined upon them.  Instantly, Peggy’s thoughts went to the giants and as one the group started moving rapidly in the other direction.  Keeping pace with their footfalls, was the stomp, stomp, stomp of something far larger.  The stomping made the floor shake a become unsteady underfoot.

“Have we got any cyphers for this?” Algernon asked checking his pockets for some of their more recent acquisitions.

“Vanisher?  Probably not going to work against something that lives in the dark.”  Rain replied tripping up.  

Algernon found a dark-sight cypher.  Putting on the glasses he turned to see a twenty-five-foot tall giant with four hands and a huge mouth running vertically along the top of its head.  He remembered very clearly seeing this being in the mind of Hazel Jenkins, the witch from Halloween.  It had been a creature just like this one that the clawed hand for the ghoul, Ismail, had come from.  

“I think it wants to eat us and it’s very big and scary. “ He said in a hushed voice, “It looks like what was grafted on that ghoul.”

“Hungry?” Rain thought out loud and recalled the giant centipede that had almost had Bruce for supper up in the mountains.  With a thought he made it appear behind them as they continued to run away. “Let’s hope it will at least give us a little time.”  

Peggy started lagging as they continued to run, the booming from behind faulting as it came across the illusion writhing in front of it.

“Can I give you a hand, Miss Peggy,” Bruce asked as he jogged up beside her.  Without a word, she nodded and he picked her up, catching up with the rest. 

The pounding steps of the giant were left behind and the group slowed their pace.  They started to look for places to rest for the evening as the cavern roof started coming into sight.  On the cavern floor, pools of water encircled the columns.  Peggy checked each pool for signs of life.

“Do you think the Rockwheelers could come from Dreamland?” She proposed but found nothing to support her suppositions and walked on.  

Algernon, who had staying clear of the pools, looking into their depths, felt something at his leg. Before he could look down, he drag him off his feet.  At his scream the group’s attention was drawn to the huge black tentacle that led back to a nearby pool, holding Algernon off the cavern floor.

Bruce literally swung into action with his crowbar delivering a devastating blow. 

“Great hit, Bruce.” Rain cheered as the tentacle responded by starting a withdrawal back into the pool.  As Algernon was pulled through the air he made attempt to grab stalagmites, stalagtites and any other rock formation at came within reach, with no success.  Peggy threw herself at the tentacle, trailing fire from her hands.  Where she hit the beast, steam rose and the cavern shook with the thrashing of the tentacle’s owner.  They were hurting it, but would it be in time to save Algernon from drowning?

Seeing Algernon grab for rocks, Rain wrapped himself around one nearest the pond .  As Algernon came within range he reached out with both actions and the Strange.

“Grab hold!”

Algernon did just that, grabbing hold of Rain’s leg.  Now with the leverage afforded by hold, Algernon wriggled out of the tentacle, climbed up Rain and leapt off, flying away with the use of his levitate. Rain turned to see Algernon still running in the direction they were going.  Bruce got in one more good hit and the tentacle popped covering both him and Peggy with black goo. 

“Urgh, that’s going to leave a stain.”  Bruce spat, trying to get rid of goo that had made it into his open mouth.

“If that was a Rockwheeler, then I’m done.”  Peggy panted.

Scraping off ichor, they caught up to Algernon and continued their walk, Bruce, Peggy and Celia in one group, Algernon and Rain in another.

“So, why did you join the group?”  Bruce asked quietly just of Peggy as they walked. “You know, right back at the beginning, after we came back from the wastelands.”

Peggy shrugged and a piece of black tentacle fell from her shoulder, “Validation, I guess.  I thought that this would be the perfect chance to show the world that my ‘crazy theories’ were true.  But I’d have preferred to stay in my lab.”

“Why?  You have such opportunity in the field.” Meaning, in general travelling through recursions, but the latest excitement was still too fresh to ignore.

“Ha, fieldwork is messy.”  She referred to both of their black goo looks, “Lab work is predictable.  Collect data, follow the evidence, build your arguments.”

Nearby, Rain mind had been mulling over the death of the Lang.  Eventually, he could not keep silent and quietly asked Algernon about it.

“How do you kill so…efficiently…cooly?” 

“What other way is there?” Algernon asked not interrupting his stride to reply.

Rain didn’t know what answered he’d expected, not that one.  Until recently Algernon had been quiet about such actions. Since talking about his role under the dreaded Doctor Lucinda Strangelove, he’d opened up about the violence he’d had to commit.

“Ur…I don’t know. You just seem very good at it.  Did you learn to kill like that under the Doctor?”

Algernon nodded vaguely, “I learnt many things.  Most that survival meant others not coming up from behind.”

“Your skill is very…permanent.  You can’t give a life back once it’s taken.  How do you know who should die?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“No not at all. That’s what terrifies me!”

“I do whatever the voices tell me to do,” Algernon said in his usual matter of fact voice, causing Rain to stop and look at him for the first time in the conversation.  Algernon turned, looking back with a small smile playing across his lips and Rain relaxed, just a little.

“Can one of those voices be mine?” Rain replied only half-joking. “Look, why I mention it is because I didn’t know what to do with the Lang. All I knew was that I didn’t want Peggy to have to make that decision.  So, thank you.”

“It had to be done.” Algernon acknowledged and they started walking again.

“Did it?  I wish I could be so sure.”

They walked throughout what would have been the day and into the night only stopping when another giant spiral staircase cames into sight.  The staircase continued down, but the party were more interested in the staircase climbing back up to the surface.

Algernon looked around the dust on the staircase and finds several large tracks, like those of the giant, other smaller ones and two sets of boots.  He pointed them out to the group.

“How long will it take do you think?”  Bruce asked dropping his pack for a moment’s respite.

“We’ll know when we get to the top.” Rain replied eager to leave the caverns behinds at least for a while.

“The stairs are big and I bet they’re harder to climb up than to climb down,” Peggy noted, reminding them all of the climb down to the ghoul colony the day before.  

They decided to camp for the night with the rock wall behind them.  Noises in the night disturbed their sleep, but nothing attacked and the group woke refreshed and ready to tackle the climb the next day. 

As the group were preparing to help each other up the first step, something large streaked overhead, wonkily flying up the stairs to crash awkwardly on its face and roll back down to where they stood.  Algernon, trying his new talent had showed he needed more practice somewhere..less hard. A shimmering shield of force helped save him from most of the damage, but he was still bloodied, sore and a little sorry for himself.

“Was that an attack of some sort?” Rain asked helping his friend to his feet looking back behind them for the giant.

“No, that was just me,” Algernon said sheepishly, having now found new places to bruise.

“Here is not the best place to come in for a rough landing,” Bruce commented as they continued to climb the conventional way.

“I don’t think I would survive another,” Algernon confessed.

The trip up the stairs took most of the morning with each of the party taking turns to help the others up the too tall steps.  On the last step, they turned and found themselves on an open landing. A small ledge on a cliffside.  Below was a city by the sea, encircled by walls. Unlike Sarkomand, this city was in perfect condition, with whitewashed walls and brass minarets reflecting the sunlight from the sky and sea.  A small flight of steps wound its way down the cliff and into the city by one of four gates.  Without another word the others started walking down and towards the city.  Rain alone stood for a moment looking at the ruin that was once his rainbow suit.  He sighed, brushed off a few clouds of dust and followed his friends into Celephais.

20. Past and Present Dreaming

    Finding themselves in the Dreamland, that Rain visited while experimenting with Spiral Dust, the party decided to find out what was beyond the spiral staircase.  During a chance encounter with a slaving party, Peggy accidentally swaps bodies with the Lang she was fighting.  Opinions differed and in the end, Bruce took things into his own hands and knocked out the Lang, sending Peggy back into her own body.  

Furious with the whole group, Peggy had stormed off in the middle of enemy territory and the party were left wondering what to do with the mindless slaves they’ve inherited.

*************************************************************************

He was inside a white room, walls, ceiling and floor all white.  Opposite, the outline of a door with a small window was the only feature of the room.  Stepping forward he realised he was wearing a constrictive white jacket that pulled his arms around his body.  

I’m in a padded room. He thought, but slowly and was surprised at how foggy his thoughts felt.

From beyond the door, the jangle of keys could be heard.  Someone was coming, there was nowhere to hide.  The door swung open.

Rain blinked and found himself staring in the dead eyes of the mindless human slave he had snatched a memory from with Dream Thief.  Algernon stood nearby, and he told him what he’d discovered.

“So, this guy is in an insane asylum?” Algernon said more than asked.

“It’s a dream. It could be his reality right now,” Rain explained, “Or it could be a construct created by his mind to make sense of where he’s at.”  Rain stepped back from the creature devoid of life in front of him, a look of disgust on his face. “Wherever his mind is, it’s trapped and this thing is just a husk, another mannequin given life by the Strange.”

Bruce’s attention drew their attention to each of the slaves lower backs where the pattern of burns was clear,“I’ve seen burns like this before on building sites.  These people have been electrocuted.”

They looked at each of the slaves one more time.  None had the spiral eyes of dust users.  They couldn’t be freed and they couldn’t be returned to Earth.  These things were a dead end. Almost as one they turned away from them and glanced towards Peggy.

She had not calmed down from her fight with Bruce.  If anything, an intense stillness lay about her.  Rigid and unmoving though her body was, Peggy’s eyes darted back and forward, sparks of wild energy and even embers flew into the air around her, manifested by her current elemental nature.  She was a simmering, crackling  chaos of emotions, it was terrifying to witness and for a moment no one would dare go near her.

Quietly and slowly, Bruce moved a few steps closer.  The movement caught Peggy’s attention and her eyes locked with his, like a cornered creature.

“Are you okay?” He asked bending down to be more at her level, but well out of the way of her fiery eminations, “You look like you’re going to catch fire.  Did he do something to you?”  He dared a step closer.

Suddenly, Peggy was up on her feet.  Her hair, normally a mass of unkempt curl loosely bound up, was standing on end, sparks and embers flying.  Her eyes were wild darted around the group looking for an escape or from where the next attack would come.

“Don’t you come near me!  Don’t you dare with your words and your ropes.  You’re trying to destroy me…. trying to ruin me…”

Algernon jumped back, a shimmering field appeared in front of him.  Rain stepped forward, moved by her pain.  Bruce stood rock steady and facing the storm. 

“Do you want a cup of tea?” 

“No I do not want a cup of tea!” Peggy screamed and ran blindly into the ruins.

Bruce looked after her getting to his feet as the other stared on dumbly, “I’ll look after this.”  

“Don’t gaslight her, She’s had that all her life, she doesn’t need it from you.”  Rain yelled after him 

“Gaslighting?”

“Yes, telling her she’s shouldn’t feel the way she does, that what she’s experiencing is wrong. I don’t know who, but someone’s really done a number on her over a long time.”

She wasn’t alone.  She was out of breath and footsore from tripping through the ruins in a blind panic.  When she stopped to breathe she realised that someone, something was watching.  She scanned the grey landscape around her looking for the source of the feeling and at first saw nothing.  It wasn’t until she allowed her eyes to rest for a moment in one place that she saw it.  The outline of a cat.  

It was a small cat, a domestic tabby as grey as the world around it, and it looked at her with a mix of curiosity and…humour?  

“Bliic?  Hello there.” Said a voice in Peggy’s head and her anxiety overrode her natural curiosity.

“I can’t hear you, you’re not in my head…I’m not insane…” She whirled around scanning the ruins only to return back to the little grey cat sitting on a broken wall.

“It’s been interesting in the ruins in the last couple of weeks.”  The voice came again, soft and velvety, unconcerned with Peggy’s behaviour.  The cat jumped down from the wall and padded across to her,tail held in a question mark, supremely confident of its place in this ruined world.

“You’re….not…talking…you…can’t…be…”  Peggy fought her own emotional state to focus on one thought.

“Hmmm,” The cat purred self confidently and rubbed itself against her leg, “What brings you here?”  

The contact scared her more than the thought of voices in her head and she leapt away, very much like a startled cat.  

“They…trying to destroy me…we…we came together…and now…they want to stop me…tie me up…”

“Bliic! Who’s that then?  The Moonbeast? They’re really the only things that roam here.”

Peggy shook her head.  As much as it seemed to be a figment of her overactive anxiety, talking to this cat was helping her sort out her thoughts and feelings.

“No, my travelling companions.  I thought they were my friends.”

“Oh, that pair I met last week?” The cat sauntered over to another wall and leapt up to get a better view of Peggy, “Such an odd couple, one man with a ridiculous waxed moustache with a travelling companion…Noel was his name.  They looked like they were dressed as explorers.

“Noel?”

Ten metres away, Bruce had found Peggy and had stopped, watching from a distance.  At first, he couldn’t see what had caught her eye.  As soon as the cat jumped down off the wall and brushed itself against her leg it seemed clear that she had been talking to the beast, though the only sound nearby was coming from Peggy.  He stood watching as her demeaner slowly calmed and her interactions with the cat were more coherent. 

“Hmmmm, yes, Noel I’m sure that was his name.  Tall.  They were both heading for Celephais.” The cat replied to a startled Peggy.

“The Tall one. Long face?  Glasses?”

“Hmmm, now that you mention it, yes.”

“Pointy noise…kind of sharp.”

“That’s him.” The cat swatted the air in celebration of confirming the identity.

“Where did he go…I have to find him…”

“They took the underground tunnels to the land across the sea.”

“Can you take me there?” Peggy pleaded.  The cat who turned away at his moment to start cleaning.

“No, but I’m sure you can find your own way.  There’s a big staircase, two giant lions stand guard above it.” A licked paw pointed the way to go, “You can’t miss it.”

It was then that Peggy noticed movement behind and saw Bruce for the first time.  He was standing well back and made no sound or gesture towards her.  She ignored his presence and turned back to the cat.

“I would like to catch up with these two, Noel and his friend.  What do you suggest?”

“Mooar…you could go over the sea, south-west to Celephais that would be more direct, the underground caverns can be a bit of a hike.”

“Come with me?” She begged not wanting to go alone.

“Wroor, No.” The cat replied simply showing no sympathy or remorse as cats will, “I have these ruins to watch over so I can’t go with you.”

“What do you do here?”

“Mooar…Keep an eye on the moonbeasts.  We cats won a great victory against them and we like to check on them and their slaves.”

“The Lang?”  Peggy was more confident on this subject and grabbed hold like it was a lifeline, “They enslave my kind.  What do you know about them?”

“The Children of Lang enslaved themselves to the moonbeast and now can never be free.  It is only natural that they would enslave others to serve their gods.”

“But what do they do with them?”

“Wroor.  They make gems.  Gems of pain, of souls.”

This was new information and completely unexpected.

“They make gems?  What do they look like?”

“Red. Bright Red Sapphire.”

“Why?”

“Wroor…they value them, I don’t know why.” The cat stretched out a back leg contemptuously and started the clean itself. “Maybe they give them to Nyarlathotep.”

“Nyarlathotep?”  This was a name that rung bells deep in Peggy’s anthropological past.  A god only worshipped and even studied by the fringes of many societies. Those who did study Nyarlathotep were surprised, much like Great Flood stories, that he would appear in forgotten pockets all over the world.  How such worship could be so widespread, yet hidden at the same time baffled the academics whose studies lead them down that path, as Peggy’s had.

She knew that practitioners smoked mixtures of herbs that allowed them to touch the dreamlands.  Some stories talked of individuals just disappearing while in such a state, never to return.  Could it be that these were the fabled lands?

“Any advice?”  She asked, now feeling a little more herself.

The cat pulled a damp paw over its head in thought before replying.

“Mooar.  Do not go near the giant’s  city for they are likely to think of you as a tasty morsel.” 

She thanked the cat (whose name she’d never asked and it had never given) and wished it luck in its guardianship. Now with a plan firmly fixed in her mind, she started in the direction the cat had pointed out. 

Bruce, saying nothing, followed.

Peggy’s panicked run from moments before had led her in a wide circle so that when she started moving in purposeful straight line, it lead straight past Algernon, Celia and Rain stand around the unconscious Lang they had tied up.  She paid them no attention, only focused on finding the lion statues, the stair and the underground passages that lead to Noel.  She didn’t hear Rain run-up until he touched her arm.  There was no mental contact, she had used that power to link with the Lang and it was spent for the time being.

“Tell me.”  He pleaded as she automatically swung wildly at him.  He stood his ground and her blows flew over his head.

“Let her go,” Bruce rushed up unsure how to expLang what he’d witnessed, “She’s been given some direction…by a cat…” 

“Wha…” Rain replied, “Bruce, she’s not herself.  She’s vulnerable to all sort of thoughts and delusions at this time.  She needs talking down.”

“Let go…no…” Peggy complained but only turned back in the direction she’d been given by the cat without trying to break free.

Bruce walked around in front of Peggy and without touching her, tried to gain her attention.  Rain dropped her arm. 

“Peggy listen.  I’m  sorry I hit it while you were in it.”  Bruce apologised clumsily, “I was worried, but I was wrong.”

Peggy focused her eyes on Bruce in front of her, and then her anger.

“They…you…tried to hurt me…did hurt me.  You tied me up, knocked me down….”

“Why did it swap mind with you?”

“I needed to know!” She responded with the last of her anger before turning and looking at Algernon. 

“I saw it respond to Algernon…to his mind-reading talent and…I needed to know.”

“Peggy.  We need you.  We need your smarts, you’re good in a pinch.”  Bruce now pleaded and everyone could see that now the pleas were getting through.

“Noel’s out there.  I have to find him.”  She turned back to her path.

“Noel…?” Rain started and was hushed by Bruce.

“Okay, we’ll go find Noel, but we have to deal with the Lang.  Peggy, what do you think we should do with it?”  Bruce offered her the choice, trying to focus her on the here and now.

“Do you want me to kill it?” Algernon suggested in his most helpful tone. Rain winced and looked from the creature back to Peggy.

“I don’t know…” She struggled to focus her attention on the wrapped bundle at Algernon’s feet, “If you leave it, it will be found and tell about us…or it will die a slow death…I don’t think killing it is right, but…”  

“Peggy, you have a friend?” Rain said quietly, stepping up beside her, “Don’t worry about the Lang, go find your friend, Noel.”

“Rain, what…” Bruce started but saw the seriousness of Rain’s face.

“Algernon and I will catch you up, go with her.” 

So, with Peggy leading, Bruce and Celia left Rain and Algernon alone with the brainless slaves and the unconscious Lang.

“I can do this, Rain.” Algernon said lifting the unresponsive body of the Lang with his teleknesis, “You don’t have to come.”

“No.” Rain followed, his voice adamant though his arms wrapped around his chest. “I’ll come.”

Algernon found a place well hidden from the main path through the ruins and lay the body down.  With one efficient movement, he pulled out the bowie knife that Rain had given him and plunged it in under the creature’s ear.  The death was silent and quick and left Rain no less horrorstruck.

As the knife was cleaned and carefully put away, the body of the Lang started shrivelling before their eyes. With one last gasp, the body coughed up a black gem very much like onyx.  Grabbing a glove from his labwork supplies, Algenon picked up the gem and examined it for a moment.

“Could be a good key to get back here?”  He mused lightly while Rain stared in awful curiosity.

“Yeah.”  

“I’ll keep it safe.” He said and packed it away in a ziplock bag.

“Yeah, it’s worth a life.”

It didn’t take the boys long to catch up and the group were soon travelling together again through the empty wastes of Sarkomand.  The only sounds came from the wind through the husks of buildings and the occasional scavenger.  A splash of red caught the group’s attention.  Bloody, almost human footprints leading to the body of a Lang propped up against a crumbling wall.  As the blood pooled around its feet, it was clear it had only just been killed. Bruce examined the footprints. They were clearly not the cloven hooves of the Lang, but there was something extra, something clawed to the footprints that made them clearly not human. Algernon and Rain both looked around and spotted a face peeking out at them from behind a crumbling wall.  It seemed mostly human in features, but the skin was a sickly yellow colour and the nose was disturbingly missing from the face.  

Rain peered at the face as it darted away. He was sure, behind the dirt, disfigurement and illness, that he knew the man.

“Alfred?…It’s Jimmy.”  He called following after the figure as it loped off.   Naked, battered and scarred, the being walked hunched over, on clawed toes, almost supported itself on knuckled hands as it moved.  Rain followed.

The creature rounded the corner of a broken building and Rain gave chase, cutting through the building itself as the others quickened their pace and followed.  Cat-leaping broken masonry, punching up to climb and leaping through empty windows to land in front of the escaping Alfred.  

“Meep!” Alfred exclaimed as Bruce and Algernon appeared around the corner blocking off his escape.

“Alfred, it’s okay you’re safe with us.” Rain tried soothingly, “It’s Jimmy, remember, from the Last Shot?”

Alfred’s body language stilled to become more curious than fearful.  A look of recognition came over his face, but when he spoke, it was only in meeps and chittering nonsense.

“Is it language, do you think?” Rain asked Algernon who had been studying languages before they left Seattle to go to Halloween.  

Making sure Bruce was between him and Rain’s new friend, Algernon skimmed the creature’s thoughts. He was surprised to find coherent, though primitive, thoughts accompanying the sounds.  He repeated some of them back to Alfred in a simple sort of sentence.

“Hungry?  Food?  Want?” He offered the creature a sample of their rations which was greedily snatched by clawed hands and eaten.  

Rain sat and listened as Algernon teased sense out of the nonsense.  Using Algernon as a type of Rosetta stone, he built on Algernon’s work, making clear communication from Alfred’s meeping.  Slowly, Alfred calmed and sat on his haunches in front of Rain as they caught up, a parody of how they once chatted in the bar.

“You know this…thing?” Bruce asked once it was clear that some communication was occurring and the creature seemed to recognise Rain.

“His name is Alfred Yip and he often came into the bar in New York.  Eldin Lightfeather left him parcels.” Rain gave a look that needed no explanation .  A major figure in the Spiral Dust trade, Eldin Lightfeather was a dangerous character that they had all been lucky to escape from with their lives.

“And whose Jimmy?” Bruce asked, uncomfortable with all of Rain’s personas.

“Joosep Sallavarin, really.  But everyone called me Jimmy.”  He shrugged as if it were no matter.  He turned back to Alfred who seemed unable to make sense of the English he’d once spoke.

“Alfred, you are the last person I thought to find here.  How is that?”

“I used to come here all the time, Dream Walking on the herbs I got from Lightfeather.” Alfred confessed and the other could see for the first time the man behind the beast. “I used to travel the land at will, and then one day…I don’t know… must have got a bad batch of herbs or something, I was stuck here.”

“Herbs?”  Rain made a small vial of blue dust appear, “Not dust like this?” He shook it to show the pale blue-grey of the dust in the light.  Alfred shook his head.

“Nah, herbs and seeds and stuff.”  

“How did you take it?” Looking at Alfred’s eyes, Rain could not see the telltale pattern of spirals in the irises.

“Smoked it,” Alfred replied in his new language as if the answer was obvious.

Rain sat back and thought about this.  Initially, he assumed that ‘The Last Shot’ was also part of Lightfeather’s Spiral Dust operation, but Alfred’s experience, though leading to similar results, was by another drug altogether?

Bruce stood watching the meeping group.

“How long has he been here?” He asked, and Rain translated the question.

“I don’t know, it seems like a very long time,” Alfred confessed, which could well be true with time dilation between recursions.

“What was the last date you remember?”

Alfred quoted a date 18 months before, not long after Rain left ‘The Last Shot’ himself.

“How many people has he eaten?” Bruce asked. Rain ignored the judgement inherent in Bruce’s question and asked his own about the Lang they had found.

“Langs are not nice, that’s why I eat them when I come up to the surface.”  

“Surface?  You live underground?”  Rain described the spiral staircase from his dream.

“Yes, that’s where the colony lives.  I travel up the staircase to check what the Lang are up to every once in a while.” 

“The cat creatures, do you eat those as well?” Ask Algernon and Alfred looked at him confused.

“No cats.  The Lang, other things but no cats.”

“We killed one only an hour or so ago, would you like to take it back for the colony?”

A universally understandable nod of the head and the group decided to head back and collect the kill.  On the way, Alfred talked of hunting parties going out and taking large kills back to the colony.

“Makes sense, cooperation is what humans do.”  Rain acknowledged when he translated the conversation back to Bruce.

“Ex-human…like, they’re hardly human anymore are they.”  

Rain gave Bruce a hard stare, “You’re always so interested in how things look, aren’t you Bruce.” He said referring back to the altercation with Peggy.  Bruce said nothing and let the argument slide.

Walking past the body of the Lang, Algernon checked the body and found three cyphers that he quickly shared out.  A blackout that obscured an area, Darksight that allowed a person to pierce through darkness and a radiation spike which Bruce realised would fit his crossbow.

When they finally cleared the ruins and rediscovered the body of the Aurumuorax, Alfred was overjoyed by the prize he would be taking back.  With a little work, the group made a hand-pulled stretcher to place the body of the large beast on and they started dragging it back into town.  The travel back was faster as Alfred led the way directly to the spiral staircase.  The path between the two giant grey lion statues lay ahead as Bruce spotted something moving through the above the crumbling ruins.  

Totally white, it was a huge beast, the size of a rhinoceros in the body.  Where the neck and head should be was a writhing mass of tentacles that seemed to ‘taste’ the air around them. The creature ’walked’ through the air moving in their general direction.  Alfred pressed against the wall making himself as small a target as possible.  Algernon followed his good example

“What is that thing?”  Bruce asked from the middle of the road, dismissing Alfred’s attempt as hiding.

“A moonbeast, the Lang worship them and make themselves slaves to them,” Alfred replied in a low whisper.

“So they’re real beasts.  Can they be killed?”

“We have killed some, but they were very dangerous, very evil.”

Algernon shifted bringing his crossbow around to face the moonbeast.  Something about his movement attracted the animals and it turned, stalking towards him.  That was enough for Bruce.  In one movement, he pulled out the Radiation Spike, fitted it to his crossbow and launched it at the beast.  It hit, doing serious damage, but the beast kept going for Algernon.

Algernon could feel the pressure of a great force on his mind as the creature made a mental attack against him.  With an effort of will, he brushed the attack aside leaving him feeling disorientated.

“No, no, no!  Bruce, attack it!” Rain called seeing Algernon hit by some invisible force. Dropping his crossbow, Bruce pulled out his crowbar and swung around and hit it.  Algernon did the same with this crossbow, but the creature remained.  Now it could see its real threat, and lashed out at Bruce with its tentacles, smashing Bruce across the body and entangling him.  Bruce managed to scramble clear of the tentacles before the creature lifted him into the air, but the attack was vicious and Bruce did not look well.

“One more hit Bruce, you can do it!” Rain encouraged, unsure of the truth of his words.  Struggling to his feet, Bruce swung again and hit the moonbeast across the head and the huge creature fell from the air, dead.

Two grubby heads poked up from the staircase to see the moonbeast fall.  They, like Alfred, were sallow-skinned, undernourished and missing their noses.  

“Quick, quick! To the giant’s staircase.” They beckoned as Alfred celebrated the destruction of the Moonbeast.

“We will eat well tonight.  Your arrival will be celebrated with a feast!”

With the help of the other two, the group dragged the body of the moonbeast and Aurumuorax into the shadow of the stairs.  The trip down the steps was slow and laborious as each step was literally made for a giant’s larger gait.  The ghouls, that is what Alfred and his people chose to call themselves, had a process for climbing down the stairs, helping each other step by step.  In this way, the whole group and the two carcases made it down to the bottom of the staircase and to the hall of bones.

Rain looked around wide-eyed as he remembered the last time he saw the bones and was thrown out of the vision.  Bruce walked through the bones noting their relative sizes to each other. There were bones of various different beasts, including some humans, all with gnaw marks.

“This way, “ All the ghouls gestured eagerly as they navigated the dark room via pockets of small phosphorescent fungus. Soon the gloom revealed a number of individuals who welcomed the group and the food they brought with them.  Without butchering or cooking the group of ghouls descended on the carcasses and started eating.

“Don’t you want to cook that over a fire?” Bruce asked, a little disturbed by the ghoul’s behaviour.

“Fire?  What for?” Asked Alfred when the question was translated.

“Light for one.”  Rain replied and created one of his tiny suns placing it high in the cavern ceiling.

The whole group of ghouls stopped their feasting and turned to the sun with deep mistrust.

“Turn it off!  Take it away!”  Alfred begged Rain who instantly snuffed out the light. “We are safe in the colony if we don’t attract attention.”

Bruce was done in.  The fight with the moonbeast had been the last in a long day of near-death fights starting with the big cats.  Without another word, he found a quiet patch and lay himself down to rest.  With no answers for Bruce’s weakness, the puzzle box appeared in Rain’s hand.  Distracting himself he started moving through the group of ghouls looking for the familiar face of Melissa.

“She’s not here,” Bruce called over the group, guessing what Rain was looking for. “They’re not spiral dust people, Rain.  They didn’t use dust to get here.”

“I did, why couldn’t she?”  Rain replied, but he soon had to admit that Melissa was not part of the colony. 

As he did, something on the puzzle box clicked into place and another step unlocked.  Looking down into his open hands he noted the new configuration in wonder. It had never, ever in all the years he’d owned it moved in this way. Disappointment forgotten Rain poured all his concentration into this latest movement of the box.

“How long have you been able to do that?”  Bruce asked sometime later when Rain rejoined the group in Bruce’s corner.

“It clicked open just now.  I never knew it opened like that.”  Rain hunched over the box, looking at the new movement from as many different angles as possible.

“Were you found with your box in the forest?” Algernon asked, remembering the conversation from that morning.

Rain’s shoulder’s relaxed as he placed the puzzle box in his lap.  

“That is a story all to itself. The story of the puzzle box is one of the first and greatest things I remember from my childhood.  It marked a time after confusion, fear and unknowing and the start of a new life.”  The preamble had something of ritual storytelling about it.  Though the ghouls did not move closer, all sound petered out until the only voice was Rain’s echoing 

through the cavern.

“How old were you?”

“Seven.  I was seven years old as the world counts these things.  In another way I was newborn, only recently dragged out of the darkness, not even six months before.  I was alone, with barely any language in a land I did not know, when one old man who wasn’t expected to be there, took pity.”

Taking a breath, Rain paused collecting his thoughts and starting the story of his first Christmas.

March 2001 – Anderson’s household, Brixton, Enlgand

“Hello?  My name is Samantha Anderson.  Is this Mrs Morris?”

“Yes, what is this about?”

“Sorry to trouble you.  I’m currently fostering Tobias Cudo.  I understand he spent some time with you.  I’m just trying to get a little background.”

*Silence*

“Hello?”

“Yes, sorry.  I’m not sure I can help you beyond what I told the social workers.  He always behaved perfectly in front of Mr Morris and myself, but he never seemed to fit in with the other children.”

“It was more to do with his mental health.  Was he always so…”

“Evasive?”

“I understand why you’d say that.  No, had you not felt his…sadness?”

“You’ve read his background.  Horrorifying!”

“And what impression did you get about what he thought about his past?”

“Frankly, we never saw any sign that he knew about what happened.”

“You never broached the subject with him?”

“Why bring up something so horrible if it’s not remembered.  We instead raised him in a positive christian way, to put aside the past and live for today.”

“I…I can appreciate that view, but even if he doesn’t remember it, it has an effect, one that could be at least understood with openness and councilling.”

*More Silence*

“Sorry, if that sounds like a criticism…I only meant….”

“It was a  criticism…but, I accept it.  Maybe we didn’t do all we could for Toby, but we did all we knew, if that makes sense.  I was sad to lose him when my husband past, but I just couldn’t keep all the children alone.  Out of children I had at the time he seemed the least likely to….the most capable to move on.”

“Yes, he does give that impression.  But he hides, sometimes for hours when there’s a difficulty of some sort, and his fingers always fidget with a little black box.”

“Oh?  He has always cherished the box.  I once gave him a crucifix to put in the box hoping that it  would give comfort.”

“I’ve never seen inside.  I’ve never wanted to pry.”

*Silence again*

“I hear his stay in the group home was not a good one. I’m very sorry for that.  But, I’m pleased to hear he has another loving family.”

“Thank you, we try.  He won’t speak about the group home.  He’s actually very good at putting on a brave face when he thinks we’re watching.  He’ll even make up jokes and do silly impressions, but if you ask him for stories he’ll have nothing to say and will put on another show as a distraction or demonstrate one of his magic tricks as a change of subject.  But I think there’s real pain there.”

“Life for these children is pain, or at least the part before they come to us.  All we can do is help them live with the past, and demonstrate a better way of living.”

“Yes, that’s what I hope to do.  Toby deserves that much, the rest is up to him.”
“Quite.”

*Silence from both sides* 

“Is there anymore I can help you with?”

“No, thank you.  Sorry for disturbing you.”

“Not at all.  If you think it proper, say hello from me and remember Mr Morris to him, please.”

“I’m sure it will be fine.  Goodbye.”

Being smaller than average had its advantages.  A sliding door storage space that most people wouldn’t consider, becomes a safe refuge.  The linen press that I currently hid was just inside the study where Sam Anderson (she’d told me to call her Sam) had phoned the Morris’ old home in Slough.

It had become a sad house after Mr Morris died suddenly at work.  He’d been, maybe not a father, but a patient and giving uncle to me and to many others.   In the end, I’d been happy to move just to escape the complete feeling of helplessness and loss.

I must have fidgetted with the box, clicking the secret doors and slides until the first compartment (only compartment I’ve ever opened) revealed and disappeared again.

“Toby?”  Sam’s voice rang out clear and startling to both of us I think in the silence of the study.  I froze and the clicking ceased.  There was a moment of silence and then the shuffle of cloth and the sudden bright light as the sliding door opened.

“Oh, Toby.”  She sighed more than said, “Did you hear all the phone call?”

I nodded, there wasn’t any sense in lying, she’d caught me, embarraingly in this secret hiding spot.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that.  Sometimes it’s hard to hear things about ourselves.”

I said nothing as I consciously processed her statement.  She wasn’t sorry to talking about me with Mrs Morris, to say I hide or make up distractions just so I don’t have to talk about things.  She was sorry I’d heard.  Did it matter?”

“Look, you must be cramped in there, would you like to come out?”  Sam suggested and suddenly I realised, I couldn’t feel my legs.  How long had I been in the linen press?  Long before the conversation.  It was after Max had set off the chinese crackers he’s swiped from the local grocery store’s Luna New Year celebrations.  It had been fun, until it hadn’t been.  It was then I had to leave.  

Carefully, I dragged himself out of my hiding spot and into the well lit study.  My eyes scan the rows and rows of books, all dogeared and note flaged, all on child psychology and development.  I’d have liked to look further but I could feel the pins and needles  running up and down my legs and it made me wince and turn away.  Slowly I stood, shakily taking to my feet that were just lumps of lead on the ends of legs that were alive with sensation.

“Toby, do you have any questions about what you heard?”

What had I heard?

Sam asked Mrs Morris about my metal health.  We’d learnt at school about iron deficiency, but I didn’t know of any deficiency.  There was something to do with my past, and talk about the group home.

Something dark and ugly uncoiled in my stomach, something that sometimes wrapped itself around my heart and made it hard to breath.  I must have looked ill because Sam made me sit down in one of two reading chairs.

“What is a metal state?” I eventually asked in the stilted English that sometimes came out when I was nervous.

“Mental state.” she corrected, “ How you feel about yourself and as a result, the world around you? ”

“Bit stupid for being caught in the linen press.”  I joked and was rewarded by a smile, but Sam would not be distracted.

“Why do you go into the linen press?”

I shrugged, the universal teenage language has so many uses.

“Well, why today?  What happened today that meant you ended up in the linen press?”

That was easy.  I told her about the firecrackers on the way home from school, but not who’d had them.  Then I told her something he’d never told anyone.

“Somethings wake up the dark worms.  When they wake up, they eat me and wrap around my heart and I can’t breath.  I need to hide until they go back to sleep.”

“Dark worms?  Can you tell me more?”  She looked concerned and I was surprised how comforting that was.  I took a deep breath and continued.

“They’re inside me, all the time.  Sometimes they wake up just because, sometimes loud noises, sometimes…gun fights on TV or when the guys play…”  I made a pistol with my finger and was surprised to see my hands shake.  Quickly I slipped it behind my back.

“No wonder you find a quiet space.”  Sam replied seriously after a few minutes, “You can always come into the study, I’ll let the rest know to leave you alone…”

“NO!” I said more loudly than I meant to, “I mean they’ll only think I’m weird or getting special treatment or something.”

“You’re not going to fit in the linen press forever.  Maybe there are other things we can do to help make the worms sleep.”
“Really?”  Until this moment, the worms arrival was always a matter of enduring, holding out until breath returned, until I knew I’d survived one more time.  

“You do some of it already, with your box and in finding a calm space.”  She pointed to the puzzle box clutch in my exposed hand. Sam brushed the sweat encrusted hair from my forehead and I felt a giddy thrill at the attention.  I wanted it to feel like this all the time.

“You also need to find the quiet space inside you as well.  A place where there are no worms.”

A quiet space inside?  Like a linen press inside my chest?  I must have looked puzzled.

She smiled again and sat square with me so our knees were touching. She took my hands, the puzzle box between us, and closed her eyes.

“Now, close your eyes and think about your box.  All four sides, the top and bottom.”

Confused and unsure where this was going, I complied. I knew my box, every chip and scuff.  I knew the shiny black lacquer and the bright red of the compartment I could open.

“Set it spinning, slowing so that you see one full side and then it turns, “She took a breath in, “and disappears to show another side.” Slowly she breathed out.

This was harder.  I was becoming aware of Sam.  Her hands on mine, the dampness between and the smell of her perfume. I started feeling this was stupid, that if someone walked past they’d laugh or worse.  I wriggled uncomfortably, but she just repeated the suggestion in the same calm tone and eventually the box spun in time with my breathing.

“Good.  Now, if that doesn’t help we can go deeper by opening your box.”

My eyes fluttered open in suspicion.  Nothing good ever came from wanting to look in the box.  She must have sensed something, maybe a clenching of my hands, a sudden intake of breath. She opened her eyes.

“I meant in your head.  I don’t need to know what’s in your box unless you want me to.”  She said seriously once more and I believed her.

I closed my eyes, and under Sam’s direction set the box slowly spinning.  This time when she suggested the box open in my mind I saw the bolts, switches and slides that opened the first compartment.

“This time the inside of your box is full of light and joy.  There’s a cool breeze and plenty of room to run around in.  This is your safe place, make it what you want.  Expand it until it fills a world, or is as small as matchbox.  Fill it with detail or keep it blank and simple, it is all up to you.

I thought about what she said.  Light wasn’t hard, the motes of dust in sunlight playing through my fingers always seemed like magic.

Joy…that one may need to wait.

The cool breeze turned cold.  I could feel something sticky running down his face and the smell of the fireworks…

No.  No worms here.

Warm breeze, like at the beach on a sunny day.  Warm enough to melt your ice cream if you weren’t careful.

Now the joy, showing people my latest trick.  Making someone smile and laugh.  Feeling people around me enjoying my company and me theirs.  Yes, that was good.  Almost as good as a cool hand brush my hot brow.

It was dark and I was lying down.  Outside my window, crickets were starting their evening chorus.  I sat up and my lacquered box slipped off the bed and spilt its contents tinkleling all over the floor.  I rolled over and looked at the item scattered about.  A shiny pebble, the only thing I had to remember Mr Morris, a few shells from the beach, a couple of shiny coins I did his magic with, a button made of mother of pearl and a small silver cross.  It wasn’t the one Mrs Morris had given me, that had Jesus all bloodied and broken.  This was a simpler cross, and completely empty.  I liked it better that way, a reminder that bad things don’t last.

One by one I picked up my treasures just as my body registered the smell of dinner from downstairs.  Gently, I placed them in the box and closed the compartment.  Maybe later , when the others were busy or asleep I’d show Sam inside the box, then maybe I would ask her what my records said.  

But right now it was tea and a boy’s growing can not wait.  Jumping out of bed I ran down stairs just as the food arrived at the table.

January 2001, Morris’ house – Slough, England

Tobias stood outside the office after the funeral. Mrs Morris was on the phone to someone as Mr Morris’s wake happened elsewhere.

“…I just can’t cope…no…no there’s no problem with the children…no…I’m all alone now and …I’m not saying I don’t want to foster anymore, but it was more Robert’s vision than mine…look, I just wanted to organise a talk about what happens next…that’s right, I won’t be able to keep all three…I don’t know…I don’t know, look I need to get back to the wake…yes…let me know when you’re available…okay, thank you…yes, I actually don’t know what I’m going to do without him.”

Mrs Morris hung up and sat alone behind her big wooden desk as Tobias looked on from the hallway. He couldn’t have said why he was there. Certainly the wake held no interest, but Mrs Morris’s grief caused him pain.  He rubbed his chest now, his heart raced under his hand and he wondered, not for the first time, if you could die of a broken heart. 

Mr Morris died at work ten days before. They’d been no signs of illness, nothing to show anything was wrong.  In one sudden moment, the light and life of the Morris’ house had gone out.  Now all that was left was Mrs Morris’s stoic coolness and a hole where Mr Morris had been.

“Toby?” Mrs Morris was standing in front of Tobias, a damp handkerchief in her hand, her eyes red rimmed and unpainted.  “Toby, why are you just standing there?”

Why was he standing there?  That’s right…

“Grandmother said it as time for speeches and to look for you.”  He replied.  Mr Morris’s mother had always told the foster children in their care to call her grandmother.  Never nanny or Grandma, she was Grandmother.  Having no family, Tobias was glad to have someone he could call anything familial.

“Of course.” Mrs Morris replied dully.  It seemed she wasn’t enjoying the wake anymore than Tobias.  “Will you accompany me, Toby?”  She offered her arm like the ladies on the historical television shows she liked and Tobias took it gratefully.

The autumn sun was warm and inviting after the cold interior of the house.  The wake was being held in the garden as it was the only place that held all the people.  Late blooming flowers and the turning leaves made a backdrop worthy of a good man’s send off.  And if the crowd was an indication, Mr Morris had been a very good man.

Over twenty years he and Mrs Morris had taken children into their large sprawling home.  They had provided safety, stability and love for 82 children and supported 67 families.  It seemed all of them were there with their spouses, children and extended families to pay their respects.

“…Mr Morris, Robert, didn’t  tell me how to be a better person.  He showed me through his quiet ways.” Said one of the ex-foster kids now an adult in a dark suit, “He always had time, though there were five of us then and none of us were exactly ‘house-broken’”

The crowd laughed companionably.

The speaker dug into  the pocket of his pants and pulled out a small polished stone, creamy white, blue and grey.

“He shared his passion for geology and lapidary.  And much like his rocks, he took us in and carefully smoothed out the rough edges, showing us how to rub-along together.”

Tobias thought of his puzzle box and the piece of polished petrified wood warm and smooth.  He scanned the crowd and noticed quite a few others also with small polished stones mounted on chains or just in their hands.

“So here’s to Mr Morris, assuredly in heaven.  May the many pebbles he left behind follow in his legacy.”  The glass of wine, beer or soft drink  rose and the group roared their agreement startling Tobias.

“Toby, go find the other children, will you, I have to talk to our guests.”  Mrs Morris let go of Tobias’ arm and straightened herself.  Now the host, Mrs Morris walked into the crowd and was swallowed up by the well wishers.  Tobias put his hands in his pockets and stalked around the outside of the adult group looking for the other two.

Tim (called Tam because of his half Scottish heritage and love of the chocolate biscuits ) had found himself a quiet spot in the garden.  Tam had acquired a pile of treats from the table and was currently working through a small meat pie when Tobias sat down beside him.

“Want something?” Tam offered from his pile of sweets and savories.  Tobias’ stomach lurched and it was all he could do to keep his mouth closed.  He shook his head.

When he thought he could speak without being sick, Tobias said in a low voice only for Tam,  “She’s going to send some of us away.”

Tam’s mouth dropped open and his half chewed pie fell into his lap.

“No!”

“I heard her, on the phone to the agency.”

“She wouldn’t.  Where else are we supposed to go?”  Tam had now completely forgotten his food and they both sat in the Autumn shade in communal misery.

“Who do you think she’d pick?” Tam asked after a while.  He was a very fast eater, but not so fast at thinking.

“For what?”

“Staying, of course, what did you think I meant?”
“Who’d she’d pick to go.”

“Oh God, that’s even worse.”

The two boys looked over the wake, spying Jancy and her school friend who’d been invited so she’d have someone to talk to.  Both had set themselves up under the food table and were taking it in turns to sneak out and find something tasty to share.

“Well, it won’t be Jancy for sure.  Her Aunty lives nearby and you know how Mrs Morris always prefers the girls.” Tam scowled, not his usual kindly expression, but dire times called for dire expressions. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, ” Tobias thought back a time before Tam when Jancy had been caught lying by Mrs Morris.  Jancy and Tobias’s relationship had been complicated after that.

“Oh man!”  Tam sat up in realisation, “That means me, they’ll get rid of me!”

“How do you figure that?”

“Well, I have both my parents, though they’re bums.  You have no one.”

Kind hearted Tam had noticed last Christmas when no one came to see Tobias, didn’t  even send a present or a Christmas card.  He’d given Tobias one of his presents, though he hadn’t opened it or anything.  Tobias hadn’t forgotten that kindness, and was more patient with Tam’s melodramas than Jancy or even Mrs Morris.

“You have family nearby.  That I have no one make it more likely I’ll be the one to go.”

That made Tam cry and the two of them sat in companionable silence as he wept and Tobias decently ignored it.

Days went by and it was clear the heart of the household had been cut out by the loss of Mr Morris.  Mrs Morris treated the children as she always had, but without the tempering gentleness of Mr Morris, she came across as a school principal and not the head of a mix-matched family.  Tobias found he couldn’t get comfortable anywhere.  When he was at school he thought about the empty house.  When he was at home spent his time aimlessly roaming the house peering into echoing rooms looking for somehting that wasn’t there anymore.

When  the day of the meeting with social services arrived, Tobais asked to see Mrs Morris in her office.

“What is it Toby, I have to get ready for this meeting and you know that…Mr Morris was always better at  dealing with these people than me.”  She looked stressed and tired and for the first time Tobias realised she was just like him, missing the comfort of Mr Morris.

“It’s about that I want to talk to you.  You shouldn’t have to pick which of us has to go.”

She stared at him like she wanted to cry.  Instead she sighed and ushered him around the desk to her side.

“You heard that phone call didn’t you?”  You don’t have to hide it, Tam’s be walking around here like the world is going to fall down on him.”

Tobias nodded and so did Mrs Morris

“I probably won’t get much of a say, the department will probably determine whose best to stay and who could go somewhere else.”

“Well…you can tell them I’ll go.”  Tobias blurted out in a rush, “I mean, I want to go.”

Now he thought she would cry and that was somehow more disturbing that being yelled at.

“Don’t….you like living here, Toby?”

“Yes.  You and Mr Morris…you have been my only parents…” He was going to say ‘ I remember’, but thought better of it, “…here in England.  You taught me everything, but…”

“It’s not the same anymore, is it?”

“No.”

‘“No.”  She repeated, placing her hands on the desk.

“Thank you, Toby.  I’ll let them know.”

In the end everyone agreed that to relieve stress on the family one of the children would be relocated to a suitable family.  As Tobias had no links in the community, had no serious friendships and had volunteered he would be the one to go.

Tam was inconsolable and even Jancy showed distress at the family being broken up.  Mrs Morris was beside herself with guilt over the decision and spent many hours either talking to the social workers or working on her private finances to somehow afford to keep Tobias.  Only Tobias seemed calm and philosophical about leaving.  If anything, now that the decision had been made he was almost looking forward to the move.

Eventually, due to the distress it was causing on the household as a whole, it was decided to move Tobias to a group home for a week or two until a place could be found in foster care.

The morning of the move, Tobias was packed and ready, standing in the front door.  His worldly posessions fitted into a suitcase (his clothes) a box (a few books, including those for school) and his backpack (snacks, drink bottle and puzzlebox).  He scanned the street for the social workers car as behind him Mrs Morris ushered Tam and Jacy foward to give their goodbyes.

Jancy looked bored, there was no love lost between Tobias and her, but for his part he was willing to forget their differences.  It’s not as though they were ever likely to meet again.

“Bye Jancy, don’t give Tam a hard time, okay?”

Tam started crying again.  His eyes were already red rimmed, the skin around them puffy.  He’d wiped his nose on the back of his hand so often there were shiny snails trails. Jancy looked at him in disgust.

“I wouldn’t touch him.”

“Tam, come with me for a moment.”  Tobias took Tam’s damp hand just as the social workers card drove up.

“I’ll put your things in the car,”  Mrs Morris said, picking up his box and suitcase, “You two take your time.”

Tobias led  Tam down the path away from Jancy at the front door.

“I don’t want you to go.”  Tam said quietly, he had no energy left for wailing, “Everyone always leaves.”

“Well, remember I’m not leaving you, they’re moving me on.”

“Does it make a difference?”

“All the difference in the world.  Adults make stupid choices, what are us kids going to do?  Cry?  Get angry?  Na, I say make the best of it…” At that moment he stomped down on the head of a garden rake he’d placed there for just this moment.  The rake handle lifted, hitting and turning the garden hose tap.  The hose jumped as the water pressure ran along its length to the nozzle held in place by two bricks behind the rosebushes.  

A jet of fridget morning water sprung out of the garden bed beside the front door and drenched Jancy.  Tam looked from Jancy to Tobias and back to Jancy his mouth moving but no sound came out.  Suddenly the tears were forgotten and he roared into uncontrollable, well needed laughter.

All this took but mere seconds.  When Tam turned, laughing at the screaming Jancy flailling at the high pressure water, Tobias quickly bent down, turned off the tap and pressed the button that automatically wound up the hose.  The water stopped with one last gout and slithered backwards through the grass to nestle safely in its plastic nest of hose reel.

Mrs Morris, who had her back turned talking to the social workers, swung round to the screams and laughter.  There was Jancy soaking wet, there was Tam no longer crying but laughing outrageously, and there, of course, Tobias looking on at the chaos, the slightest smirk on his angelic face. But how? There was nothing to show, but a rake and a few bricks in the garden?

“Jancy, go in and get changed, you’ll catch your death.  Tam that’s enough, thank you.  Tobias…”  She gestured for him to join her at the car. “…I probably should be glad that I wasn’t at the door with Jancy.”  Mrs Morris said low enough for only the two of them to hear.

“I don’t know what you mean, Mrs Morris.”  Tobias relpied, his face the image of innocence.

“Hmm…well I think you have guaranteed that you will never be forgotten.”  She put her hand out, her fist closed.  Tobias put out his palm and Mrs Morris dropped a small silver cross, one with Christ still nailed to it.  It hit Tobias’ palm with a solid ‘thunk’.

“Mr Morris and I always tried to show you the hope found in Christ.  This is for you in rememberance of that.”

If there was hope in Christ, why are you sending me away? Tobias thought bitterly.  Christ isn’t a symbol of hope but an example of how the world treats the good.  He folded his fingers around the image and nodded, saying nothing.

There wasn’t much more to be said after that.  A few hugs, especially from Tam who was still giggling and then Tobias took his seat in the car, all he owned laid around him.  Tobias tried to think back to the time he’d been brought to the Morris’.  That time his entire possessions were a few changes of clothes and an illustrated English dictionary.  He’d had almost no language, no idea of where he was or what was going to happen to him. 

The Morrises had given him that and more.  

He rummaged through his backpack until he found his puzzlebox.  He flipped it open and placed the cross with the other pieces he’d collected during his time in the house.  The car drove off and he waved goodbye, now not with a sense of loss, but with a sense of purpose.

Okay, let’s go and see what the world has to offer.

October 1997 The Morris’ House, Slough, England

Afternoon sunlight washed the oak floor golden as Tobias made his way to the office.  Behind him, the sunlight poured through the open door where the other children played in the backyard.  He lifted his hand and with delicate fingers he let beams of light slip through, highlighting in gold the dust motes.

“Abra-ca-dabra!” He whispered under his breath as his fingers fluttered, making the light and the dust motes spin.

“Toby?”  Mrs Morris’ head poked around the corner of the office doorway,  “Toby, day-dreaming again?”  She asked in exasperated tones.

Tobias quickly brought his hand down and he put on his sweetest puppy-dog expression.

“Mr Morris said you wanted to see me?” He said it like a question, but they both knew there was no question about it.

“Yes Toby, come into the office please.”  Mrs Morris stepped back and Tobias walked in and plonked himself on the worn leather lounge like he belonged there.  Mrs Morris, who had hoped to use the authority of the office desk to instill a little fear, now had to move her notes and a small black box to the coffee table.  Tobias eyed the little black box, but said nothing.  He swung his feet back and forward in a disarming way.

“Toby, is this your box?”  Mrs Morris picked it up gingerly like it was some exotic creature.

“Yes, “ He replied simply.  It was his, everyone knew it.

“Yes, it is and I would not have usually taken it out of your room without permission but Jancy has lost her bracelet, the one her mother gave her before she past.”

Mrs Morris always talked about people having past instead of saying they were dead.  Tobias wasn’t sure if it was lying or not.

“Well I didn’t take it.” He protested, his large eyes creasing and his rosebud lips quavering only slightly.

“It’s just she was very sure she saw you put her bracelet in this box.  If you didn’t do it, the bracelet won’t be inside.”

Tobias nodded with the sensible logic, but did not move to take the box.

“Toby, please open the box.” Mrs Morris thrust it out and place it in Tobias’ lap.

Now the box wasn’t just any box.  Just two Christmases before he  had received it from an old man who had shown Tobias the one secret he knew and assured him there was more to learn, with patience.  No other secrets had appeared, yet, and knowing that sometime in the future they may appear made the box all that more special.

The small worn book that had come with the box was gone. Michael had been angry one weekend when his mother hadn’t come though she’d promised and promised.  He’d made a bonfire in their bedroom out of magazines, school books, other paper and bedding.  Tobias has saved the box only because Michael had been unable to grab it from Tobias’ quick hands.

It hadn’t mattered.  Tobias had learnt all he could from the book and afterwards he’d had the room to himself.  What was important was the box.  He looked at his box and then up at Mrs Morris, his eyes now shining with tears.

“But… they’re my specials.”  He said in a hurt childish voice nothing like his more confident tone.

“I know Toby, but the bracelet  is Jancy’s special and you know what God thinks about stealing.  If you could please let me have a look…”  Mrs Morris’ voice trailed off.  She didn’t look or sound confident she was doing the right thing.

Tobias looked back down at his black box and carefully picked it up in his slim dexterous fingers. 

What happened next, Mrs Morris could never say later.  One moment Tobias was twisting a corner and pulling out a secret pin, the next the lid of the black box flew across the room skidding across the polished wood surface of her desk and onto the floor.

While Mrs Morris fetched the lid, Tobias pulled a fine gold chain out of a secret compartment and just as quickly slipped the chain down the sleeve of his jumper.  The whole action had taken a fraction of a second and Mrs Morris returned with the lid of the box none the wiser.  

“Could I look inside please Toby?”  She said not gesturing for the box.  He could see a timidity in her, a shyness now that the box was open.

She doesn’t want to do this. He thought, and the thought gave him a ugly sort of happiness.

Slowly, reverently, as if revealing something precious and rare, he turned the box to Mrs Morris.  There were a few coins, some foreign, a shiny brown pebble that Mr Morris had helped him polish up.  A shell button found a trip to the city and no bracelet.

She sighed and handed back the lid to the box, “I’m sorry I had to ask you to do that.  Thank you for being so honest.”

Mrs Morris stood up and returned to her desk where she felt more comfortable, as the little boy carefully put together his puzzle box, wriggled off the leather lounge and walked out of the room.

“Oh, and Toby,” Mrs Morris called now back in her seat of authority. “I hope you know you too can always come to Mr Morris or myself if you need help.  I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re alone.”

Tobias just looked back at her, his large brown eyes now genuinely glistening and turned to go upstairs to his room.

 It was days later, and the incident of the missing bracelet had seemingly been forgotten by the Morrises.  Tobias waited for the perfect time to find Jancy alone.

She was pulling the petals off a yellow rose and laying them between sheets of newspaper for drying.  Her attention was totally absorbed with pulling the petals off whole, she did not notice Tobias until something gold glittered just to the edge of her vision.

“My bracelet!” she exclaimed grabbing for the glittering tricket, but only grab at air.

“You said you’d see Christine eyeing it.  You’d said you wanted it kept safe!”

Jancy’s face darkened, the remainder of the rose crushed into yellow pulp in her fist.  “Me and Christine made up, and then you ate the last piece of toast at breakfast.”

“So you thought to get me in trouble with the Morrises?”  Toby boiled inside though, on the outside, he looked to be having a polite conversation.

“They like you….they love you.”  She teased, “They’re all… ‘Toby did this…and Toby did that…’ ”  Jancy’s quite pretty face crunched up into something wicked and mean, her dark eyes squinted so only pin-prinks of black could be seen.

“You were jealous…of me?” Tobias’s voice became low and menacing, though his expression remained serene, “You have a grandmother who still visits, but I have no one.  Why would you be jealous of that?”

“I…oh it doesn’t matter.” She gave up her indignation with a sigh, looking down at the now crushed rose in her hands, “Are you going to give me my bracelet back or what?”

Tobias glared down at Jancy, his anger now clear, the bracelet still swinging from one finger.

“What a good idea.  ‘Or what’ seems a very good idea to me.”  He smiled maliciously, “I’m going to use my magic to send your bracelet into a pocket space where nasty girls can’t get to.”  And with that, he swung the bracelet once more around his finger, flicking it up, slingshotting it directly into the sky. With two hands up he went to catch it in his right, but secretly let it slip through, palming it in his left.  As he dramatically opened his right hand and showed Jancy the bracelet wasn’t there, he slipped the bracelet down his sleeve of his jumper again.

Instantly, Jancy grabbed his empty left and then looked around on the ground, but the bracelet had disappeared, just as promised.

“I’m telling Mrs Morris on you!”  She balled and ran inside without a second’s thought to the inevitable scolding she’d receive about telling lies.

Later, months later, while making a floral decopage card for her grandmother, Jancy would find her mother’s bracelet pressed  and waiting for her, between yellow rose petals.

August 1995 – A hospital in The Netherlands

Hospitals are never really quiet.   They are not places where the ill and injured can find good healing rest.  Constantly the machines ping and whirr, one may even puff up a sleeve on you arm so hard it hurts.  Then there’s the people, men and women in white, green or blue who come in to check on you, the chart at the foot of the bed or talk amongst themselves.  Sometimes all three.

The boy newly named Tobias Cudo,  sat up in his bed, his legs drawn up to his chest and wrapped around with skinny arms.  He looked out into the darkened  (but never really dark) ward listening with eyes and ears and skin to the other children.  Their sniffles and shifting, their dreaming cries and gentle snores.

He could not sleep.

He could not remember how many days he’d been there.  It had been days and days since the young man in the blue hat had given him to doctors and nurses inside a tent with flapping cloth walls.  Someone with the Doctor’s and nurses had spoken to him, told him he was safe and that the doctors and nurses would take care of him.  The boy who they called Tobais did not speak, he was too afraid to.  He was afraid if he opened his mouth he’d start crying and never stop until he’d die.  So he was silent and they gave him the name Tobias for the soldier that brought him in, and Cudo a word he knew meant miracle.

But what miracle was it to ….what?  He’d lost something that only came back to him in dreams and was lost again on waking…screaming.  So, besides when the doctor’s and nurses made him sleep with medicine, he did not sleep.

In the darkened ward, he remembered the doctors and nurses and people in uniforms standing around his bed in the tent with the flapping cloth walls. They talked and talked and finally brought back someone to tell him  that they were sending him away, to a safe place to look after his head that hurt a lot, and give him a new place to live.

But what about…what?

He hadn’t known then, in the tent with the flapping cloth walls, but did now.  He’d seen the children in the ward with their parents, their Mamas and Tatas.  Sometimes brother or sister or uncles or others.  But not the boy named Tobias.  No one came to visit him, only the doctors and nurses who did not speak. They gabbled and smiled and poked and proded.  The brought food and made sure he pooed, they checked the bandage on his head.

And they left him alone at night, to stare into the darkened ward.

And not sleep.

All except Jen.

Jen was only there at night.  She spoke in broken words telling the boy named Tobias that she was Jen and she was “…pleased to meet you…”

Her words were funny, as if she was talking to a stranger or an adult, but she was the only one who spoke properly so the boy name Tobias could understand.  And sometimes she taught him her words.

Such as:
“Goedemorgen, Meneer Tobias.”

“Hoe gaat het vandaag?”

“Ik ben ziek.”

“Ik will graag eten”

Jen now peaked around the corner of the door and waved her fingers at the boy.  He shifted in his head to get a better view and waved back.
“Is goed, Meneer Tobias?” she asked.  The boy nodded and just watched her.  She looked behind, up and down the hall conspiratorially and then she came in holding a book.  

Jen pulled out a piece of paper, she sometimes did that to talk.

“Mr Tobias, I hear you will leave soon for England where the people speak English.  I  brought this to help learn you English.” she said in her broken speech as she put the book on the bed in front of the boy.

“I no teach Dutch to you no more.  I can teach you English.”  She put away her paper and smiled, looking pleased at the boy.

The boy was horrified. What did this mean “…he would leave for England?”  He knew of England, it was where they played football and they had a queen.  But what was there for him?  He grabbed one of her hands that lay clean and white on the bed and drew it to his chest.  He tried to shake his head, but made the world spin so he stopped.

“No Jen?”  he whispered in the words of Dutch she’d taught him, “No Jen in England?”

They were the first words he’d spoken, spoken to this kindly woman in the middle of the night.  Tears filled Jen’s eyes and she cried.
“No…I will not be in England.”

“Then no…no…Tobias.” what else to call himself, but the name they’d given him.

The boy now called Tobias lay back on his pillow, hand head swimming sickly as he tried to catch his breath.  Jen made soothing sounds that meant nothing to the boy.  She stepped up beside his head and wrapped her arms around him.  This meant something , this was comfort and soon his breath came easier and he leaned his head against hers.  He could smell the clean smell of her and it felt right and safe.  

Slowly he became aware that she was saying a word he understood, over and over again.

“Sorry…

Sorry…

Sorry…”
and a thought entered his young and impressionable head that had never been there before.

ADULTS GET STUFF WRONG!

Everything he’d been through, the pain and confusion.  Everything he’d seen and things he….didn’t remember.  Everything was just a huge adult sized mistake.  Who was he, a dumb stupid kid to fight that!

The realisation stopped his breath and Jen sat up to see his face, washed clean by tears, smiling.
“What?” she asked in her own language and Tobias replied in the same.

“Thank you Jen. Learn English now?”

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